The Paris Hilton documentary Paris, Not France (which takes its name from Hilton’s manager, who says when tweens hear “Paris” they think Hilton, not France) just released this three-minute teaser-trailer. It proves that no amount of stylized title cards shouting “CELEBRITY”, “SCANDAL”, “HOLLYWOOD,” and “PAPARAZZI ASS DILDO PARTY” could make this bitch even the least bit interesting. There’s no reason to watch the whole thing, unless you hate yourself, but Paris nicely sums up the entire project at the 25-second mark:
“People see me as… like… this Barbie with a perfect life… fantasy. …Whatever. …Maybe that’s what they like, I dunno?”
It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion, only when you get to the center, you get herpes.
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I liked her fist documentary film Video of a Deadfuck Whore Getting Fucked by Some Dumbfuck.
I would say it’s more like peeling the scales off a fish, but that’s just because I think it paints a better olfactory picture that way.
At least this movie is easier to ignore than a flare up.
Paris should not be managed, she should be contained. Can we throw her in jail again? Everyone loved that.
I hear a lot of people say that “they wouldn’t pee on Paris Hilton even if she were on fire”. Well I think that’s a terrible thing to say. Let me go on the record stating that I would pee on Paris Hilton, even if she isn’t on fire.
when tweens hear “Paris” they think Hilton
It’s my goal to get them to associate “anal” with “morally acceptable substitute”.
If the picture looks a bit fuzzy, don’t be alarmed. It’s shot like that on purpose to allow Paris to see her own documentary in 3-D thanks to that wonky eye.
When i hear the word Paris, i think of a year spent selling porn and how i’d avoid showing any previews of her dvd in order to sell those turds.
All the previews for this movie are just commercials for Valtrex.
The Mighty Feklahr would like to see Paris Hilton in one of those celebrity boxing matches.
The Mighty One feels He could find great opponents for her. Names like Ike Turner, Bobby Brown, and Mike Tyson spring to mind.
Went I hear the word Paris, I think vapid cuntsnake.
Paris, France is the one that smells good by comparison.
Chris Nolan now has his title for the followup to The Dark Knight: ‘Batman, Not Turkey’.
The Barbie comparison is totally unfair. Unless she means Klaus Barbie.
I’d have to contract AIDS just to have a small desire to sleep with her.
What about Paris, Texas?
You’re right, people would easily get them confused due to the amount of drilling.
Paris always wanted to be like Princess Diana. QUICK! SOMEBODY GET ME A FUCKING LIMO!
There is a barn somewhere in the midwest that is referred to as “The Most Photographed Barn in the World”. When the first person claimed that, the barn was far from famous. However, as photographers heard this news, it became a destination.
It is now the most photographed barn in the world.
Paris Hilton is the most famous barn in the world.
Yeah, Stoney, but can the most photographed barn in the world fit twelve bales of hay and assorted livestock in there?
Skankumentary isn’t about the Rude Boy Ska movement of the 80′s?
Madness!
[Paris goes to doctor, lifts skirt, one pound of what looks like uncooked ground beef sloughs off her snatch, hits the floor, screams, the flees the room via an unknown form of locomotion.]
Paris: Is that normal?
Doctor: No.