Jake Kasdan has come on a board to direct Bad Teacher, a script by Office/Year One/Ghostbusters 3 writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg which sounds basically like Eastbound & Down if Kenny Powers had a uterus.

Sold to Columbia pictures last August, the original screenplay concerns a foul-mouthed seventh grade teacher who is dumped by her sugar daddy and starts to pursue a colleague, which provokes conflict with the school’s model teacher. [THR]

[say /Film, who've apparently read it]: Screenplay revolves around Elizabeth Halsey, a teacher with a cussin’ problem who ends up in a bitter rivalry with her squeaky-clean colleague Amy Squirrel. Elizabeth is the sort of girl who wakes up at 3.40 in the afternoon, looks for breakfast in the fridge but finds only packets of ketchup, mustard and soy sauce so turns to her bong instead.

The good news is that the project was on the black list, and actually started with a screenplay, rather than some bonehead pitch by a studio exec (“What if… Kevin James… has to babysit a cat!”).  And Jake Kasdan has been around, last directing Walk Hard, which I thought looked pretty funny.  Then again, I never actually saw it.  So really, I guess it’s kind of like when a hobo asks me for money and I reach in my pocket for some change but then I think, “Ah, f*ck it.”

James Cameron hasn’t directed a fiction movie since Titanic back in ’97, and Avatar is his thus-far-shrouded-in-mystery-and-clearasil return to sci-fi.  Set for a December release, it’s described in its original treatment as “a man tries to make his way as a miner by combining with an alien during an interplanetary war in which humans can make themselves manifest by possessing alien bodies – avatars.”   Marketsaw recently dug up some of the Avatar concept art you see here.  I’ll let /Film describe it:

This one appears to show action from a set piece. Fleeing in the foreground is another one of the futuristic flying machines (most likely the Dragon Gunship) and behind it is one of the native beasts of Pandora. This one, I think, is a Bansheeray.

A great amount of Pandoran flora and fauna was dreamt up by Cameron to create a very complex alien ecosystem and I think he’s planning to leave it in the background, behind the drama and characterisation.From Bansheerays to Direwolves, the Leonopteryx to the Direhorse, and of course including the Na’vi, the humanoid natives at the heart of the matter, there’s an awful lot Avatar alienage, the vast majority of it still to be unveiled.

Thankfully, it shouldn’t all be so alien that we won’t be able to understand it – and indeed, the human characters who come to this strange world seem to mostly comprehend the otherness of what they find by referring to it in familiar, Earthly terms.

Haha, nice one, nerd.  I generally comprehend the otherness of what I find by socking it the gut and stuffing it in a locker.  Then I yell, “Be more normal, fag!”  It’s just my way. (*pops collar on letterman jacket*)

Meet Damien Walters.  He’s a Hollywood stuntman, and you can see his impressive showreel after the jump.  Most recently, he did the stunts for the upcoming Kick-Ass, Matthew Vaughn‘s supposedly hyper-violent comic-book adaptation starring Nic Cage and McLovin.  In the video, Walters pulls off some moves that you would only think possible if you lived in The Matrix. One of the more impressive of which is taking his shirt off while backflipping, then removing his pants during a twisting double backflip.  But then he goes and ruins it by flexing for the camera.  Hey, buddy, I work in my underwear too; you don’t see me showing off my six-pack abs.  …Okay, bad example.
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Tom Cruise’s last three movies were the disappointing Valkyrie and Mission Impossible, and the über flop Lions for Lambs, but of course that didn’t keep Hollywood’s panties from going moist with anticipation about what his next film would be.  Answer: Wichita, from director James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma), co-starring Cameron Diaz.

According to sources, Cruise and Diaz have approved the script, and their deals are in advanced negotiations. While Fox has not officially dated the picture [they just boned one time after a keg party -ed.], sources said the studio is eyeing a summer 2010 release. The script has been through many machinations, but the most recent drafts were done by Scott Frank, with Mangold currently fine-tuning the script with Laeta Kalogridis (“Shutter Island”). Two-hander has several action scenes. [Variety]

Tom Cruise’s script approval is important, because he’s literally a dyslexic who believes alien spirits control our thoughts.  Oh, and don’t be embarrassed if you didn’t know what a “two-hander” is, I had to look it up too.  Apparently it means a script with two main characters.  I was thinking it was a guy with a huge weiner.  (*shrugs*)

Much like Tropic Thunder, it’s looking like the best part the upcoming Judd Apatow-directed Funny People might be the virals and fake movies within-the-movie.  These videos (above and below) are the latest to hit the web.  They’re from the (fake) TV show starring Jason Schwartzman’s character – a self-obsessed NBC TV star on a show called, “Yo, Teach…!” (I’m assuming they’ll eventually be part of the DVD extras).  You may notice that one of Schwartzman’s students is Bo Burnham, the painfully dorky YouTube rap sensation with whom Apatow is supposedly writing the “anti-High School Musical.”  It’s not that I’m not impressed by this kid’s songs, it’s just that his comedy is… different.  It’s the kind of comedy that says, “Let’s never hang out*.”

[via ThePlaylist]
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