HEY WHITE NINJA, 1994 CALLED…
05.07.09This one’s just called Ninja, and it comes from veteran b-action director Isaac Florentine and stars stuntman Scott Adkins, whose look and acting style both seem better suited to a Bowflex infomercial (Broflex?). Anyway, it’s your basic Japan-trained white ninja fights bad guys in New York plot. The stunts look good, the acting looks hilariously bad – which, in a way, almost makes a b-action movie better. When you see two guys who can’t even walk into a room convincingly actually sell a fight scene, you think “Dang, maybe they’re really mad at each other.” It’s the same with porn.
[via QuietEarth]
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White ninjas throw their stars like this…
A White Ninja’s sword is always shorter than a Black Ninja’s.
White Ninja’s hate to see their own women with Black Ninja’s.
White Ninjas use nunchucKKKs.
Feelin’ pretty racist today.
White Ninjas think Wayne Brady is awesome.
White Ninjas call Black Ninjas “Ninggers”.
Reached for comment, Michael Dudikoff said “I know. I’m pretty surprised I’m not dead too!”
White Ninja trained in Japan hunted down by jealous Jap Ninja….I like this idea the first time when it was called GI-Joe.
Lee Van Cleef is not only spinning in his grave. He’s committing sepaku.
Off topic, but… I needed to share with someone. This is an actual Tweet from Ben Lyons’ actual Twitter account:
Who is in NYC? Holla @ me! Where are the best sneaker spots? The city has changed so much since I was a kid growing up here…it’s crazy
Amazingly, he’s dumber than you might imagine.
Chris Farley’s trying to roll in his grave.
Ben Lyons: Protekt ya neck, son!
Who’s Ben Lyons?
8 Miles of Ninja: The story of Emeninja a white Ninja battling the odds in his hometown trying to win the girl and be accepted by the black Ninja’s who he respects.
Winja’s name is misleading.
Also, didn’t Nu Image go under in the 80′s? Cause MY GOD…that logo screams New World and Tri Star.
White ninjas can’t jump kick.
I don’t get it. Why is 1994 calling? It’s not still pissed about the Bill’s Superbowl thing is it?
Hey Ben…there is this sweet sneaker spot over on 5th…right in the alley between those two burned out buildings. When you see four big black guys with pipes and chains congregating by a flaming oil drum, you’re there. They’re with customer service.
Winjas feel strangely comfortable in black.
A raised leg is the international ninja sign for “Hot Mud Love Here”.
effing computer
He’s a boy Stoney but the hospital gave him a onesie that says “I’m a BI-Baby” so that’s cool I guess.
Ben Lyons keeps trying to take his little sneakers, jackass
Old white ninjas call real ninjas “orientals”.
White Ninja’s job is much easier because nobody in his neighborhood locks their doors.
Michele, you should avoid putting labels on your little one so soon. And you should definitely not remove the one label he came with, because it voids the warranty.
British Ninja’s call themselves Hero’s because Ninja sounded too violent.
If only some genius could come up with a ninja song, this would be awesome. A rap, maybe. Done by a white dude.
Awesome, chelle0 – enjoy him while he sleeps spontaneously.
Mine will be 1 year in a couple weeks – it’s hard to believe.
Oh, and White Ninjas are required by law to refer to themselves as “N Words”.
Ninja Turtles, 3 Ninjas, Surf Ninjas, Ninja Assassin, American Ninja, Ninja Resurrection, Beverly Hills Ninja, now Ninja.
Could Ninja just vanish already?
Neigh Up!!
White ninjas only weakness is CountryTime lemonade, damn that’s fine drinkin’
White ninjas focus more on the fundamentals, eschewing the more razzle-dazzle ninjitsu that the black ninjas have made famous.
Ninja movies and gay porn always end up having a swordfight and a stabbing
Does white ninja use chopsticks to eat his mac n’ cheese?