05.19.09 THE CAST OF TWILIGHT WENT TO THE MALL
Oh hey look, everyone, Glamour Shots added a “Vampires n’ Werewolves” background. Okay that was a joke, but if the photo studio in the mall hasn’t made it a reality by the time I finish typing this sentence they’re basically wiping their ass with all the potential money they could be making.
What, the movie? Oh yeah, so in New Moon, the sequel to Twilight, Bella’s on a break with her sparkling-white, 1000-year-old abstinent vampire soul mate and starts hanging out with this other dude, a feral, hot-blooded, ethnic werewolf. Yeah… As it turns out, Mormon chicks have different ideas about what “far-fetched” consists of.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/googleneverliescopy-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/newmoon-stewart-lautner-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/aliceinwonderland-triptych-150x150.jpg)
There are 51 comments about:
THE CAST OF TWILIGHT WENT TO THE MALL
Those to dude are swallowing a double ender with their assholes. Boa constrictor style. He who goes deepest, wins. The supernatural types call it, bum-wrestling.
One t(w)o three four, I declare… BUM WAR!
Did I mention how much I liked the book?
I can’t be sure, but I think a few of my class mates had their senior pictures taken with that back drop. And the Mexican.
This is more Sears than Glamour Shots because of the lack of collar touching.
I have it right here in front of me, to return to my alleged “friend” who loaned it to me.
I made it to page 312 (without cutting myself!), which I think is admirable.
“OK, one more photo and we’re done. My friend, Creepy Guy From Requiem For a Dream, requested an ‘ass-to-ass’ shot.”
/”ass-two-ass” is redundant
Give Bob Ross a half hour and he’ll come up with a more believable woodland backdrop.
This is like JC Penney meets Bass Pro Shop.
Yeah, dudes be fightin over chicks who don’t put out. I think this takes place in the bizarro world where Jamie Foxx is Sinatra.
I call bullshit.
That moon is waning, not new. Fuck off.
You know what is far-fetched for a Mormon chick? The groceries.
That bitch isn’t nearly blond enough for a Mexican dude.
Stat I learned fron Time magazine;
1 in 6 books sold WORLDWIDE in 2008 were part of the Twilight series.
Do with that what you will.
Gimme an F!
Word J. And her ass isn’t frijole engourged either.
Anybody half-expecting her to have a friend named Van-Helsing who’s a pushover sissy who “appreciates her for who she is” not like those bad boys she keeps ending up with?
*begins humming and tapping feet*
Going to the temple and we’re, gonna’ wear m-a-a-a-a-a-a-gic underwear…
You mean they work at the mall.
There’s got to be a way some industrious person could take an exacto to that poster and the similar-hued poster for Anti Christ, switch a few things around, and give a few preteens a real show for their $9.50.
F!
I’m about as likely to see this movie as the eyeless 4 year-old is.
F
I think “New Moon” is codespeak for its the first time these fags are gonna fuck.
This shit is so emo, the director had to yell “don’t CUT!” after each take.
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