05.20.09 MICKEY ROURKE HAS A NEW FRIEND

My mom has a pair of glasses just like that.

“Polly wants a different cracker!”

Nobody tell him thats not Toucan Sam dammit.

fock’n ‘ell, is dat ‘oo oy fink it is?)

It’s too hard to tell with all his clothes on. Remove shirt, please.

Stath is eying the cameraman because he is a large Mexican and the flashbacks just kicked in.

The next day Stallone showed up riding a California condor.

That must be a shot from the making-of featurette, The Lunchables.

Is that Stonebeard the Pirate?

By the looks of his chin at least he taught the bird not to shit on his shoulder.

I asked for a fucking parakeet and only got one.

I bet it sounds like Stath keeps calling him “Mickey Rock”.

The birds missing in the Staf picture. Did Rourke eat it, or simply smash it with his chin by accident?

I asked for a cockatoo, not a cock or two. Get that thing outta my face.

This is just natural progression. Pigeons land on him all the time.

Oh yeah, Al? Toucan play at that game!

When Hollywood casts Jamie Foxx to play Rourke in a few years, Jaws will be played by a Rottweiler and the bird will be a chicken.

Am I the only one thinking about raping that bird?

Bird whispers in Rourke’s ear: Hey Mick. Don’t make any sudden moves, but I think I accidentally shit on your chin.

P, I wanna roll that bird up into a little ball and shove it up my vagina.

Sorry ngoDoot. Let me take my foot off your dick. Much apologies.

*slides TengoDooter a freshly brewed piss boot*

Chino, better talk to Michelle before you do that, word is they don’t feel anywhere near as good coming out as they do going in.

JHC

If you will just forgive my sins we’ll call it even.

You know what…good. Everytime I see a picture of Mickey Rourke with that dog, I immediately say “Mickey, you look like Paris Hilton with a fucked-up face.” Then I see pictures of Paris Hilton, and I immediately say “Goddamn your face is all fucked up. I hope Mickey Rourke kills you.”