05.13.09 MARTY SCORSESE DIRECTING SINATRA BIOPIC

Old Blue Eyes was called inimitable for a reason. Good luck finding a lead I can buy as Franky.

Ol’ Blue Eyes, directed by Ol’ Blue Balls

Only woulda worked if Marty hadn’t made The Departed.

To prepare for this movie, I’m gonna watch Billy Batts get beat to death with “That’s Life” playing over Donovan.

Can’t wait to see this movie’s horn section.

Brett Ratner’s Sinatra sang “Come Fly With Me” while driving around in an unmarked van.

*ring*

Hello.

Hey Marty, this is Joe Piscopo and….

*click*

Sure, it’s pretty exciting knowing Scorsese’s handling the film, but I’m sure that the best is yet to come!

Hi, I’m new. Please don’t hurt me.

Another term for wopgasm: showing your HEY-O! face.

Brett Ratner’s Sammy Davis Jr. would be a breakdancer

Hopefully one of the liberties taken with the story will be a scene where the Rat Pack beats up a guy who “looks” like Joe Pesci.

Brett Ratner’s Sammy Davis Jr. would be a belt breaker.

Brett Ratner’s Dean Martin would be played by Jackie Chan, only so he could say “Ain’t that a kick in the head?” after knocking someone out in an inexplicable fight scene.

Here’s another case for me where the names involved are supposed to lend some type of metaphysical credence to the project, yet I do not detect it nor care.

Brett Ratner’s Rat Pack’s Ocean’s Eleven pull a heist at a Chuck E. Cheese

*tosses keys to ice cream truck to AndDenn*

Here, go pick up His dry cleaning and make sure to hang up the Grand Wizard robes.

And remember, it only hurts the first time.

Brett Ratner’s Sammy Davis Jr. would constantly point out how much taller he is than everyone else.

Fek–I’m not gonna ask why the ice cream truck smells like barn animals and desperation.

You Dagos need to stop living in the pasta.

The desperation is easy enough to explain, the farm animals? Well, The Mighty Feklahr is sure that erswi must have borrowed the truck.

Ciao, non-consentual bird sexers!

Oh, Al, I’ll check FB this eve and get back later.

Casting call by Martin Scorcese:

“looking for female extras to suck my sinatra”

The Scorsese tag is spelled wrong. Typ(guid)o!

Ratner can make the Frank Sinatra, Jr. movie. It will be the mediocralypse.

For fuck sakes, are the many annoying incarnations of SmokeEm still stinking up the joint?

I can see your fucking IP addy, fucker.

As Ricky I get to say “fuck” a lot.

Or I can go back to Al and call you a cocksucker.

When reached for comment, Italians turned the volume down to Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” playing in their IROCs and said “OOOOHH!”

Al, are you busting 6ways/DeJesus/Smoke’em’s balls?

I smell a shit rat in the shit rat pack.

Among “others”, yes. It’s just been that kind of day and I don’t need any further aggrevation.

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I NEED A HUG!

Zac Efron was born to play Joey Bishop.

I’ll hug you Ricky. Want to wear Randy’s Tonto costume?

*hugs Al, gives her a little there there pat on the ass*

Those are my boobs you’re patting, Bex. You’re not very good at this, are you?

*bursts in to hug Al, falls on inflated baby pool full of jell-o hi-jinx ensue

A wopgasm is when you jizz hair gel and Drakar Noir

That would explain why Bexy’s dick gets crap on it whenever he tries jugfucking.

durst

Simon?

Hey bex. Good to see the enchiladapocalypse didn’t get you.

yeah im finally out of my bunker ready to bring the unfunny to FD

Lookin’ trim, Randy.

I got new pants. They’re so comfortable. My other ones were so tight!

Are they going to include the part where Sinatra joins a cult and sacrifices small children? Or is that Bob Hope?

The American Pie, Creed atrocity from earlier played Sinatra Jr. Yep, the imdb is my friend. My only friend. I would cry if ghosts had tears.

Hey so yeah, I forgot to mention I borrowed the BTK van yesterday and well. . . I couldn’t find the Megan Fox film set so it probably smells like livestock now.

Don’t ask.