LINDSAY LOHAN GOT A JOB!
05.14.09
Guess what, everyone: Lindsay Lohan got a job! Yaaay! Wait, does this mean she won’t have to do porn? Boooo!
Lindsay Lohan will topline indie fantasy comedy “The Other Side” alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette.
Story centers on a grad student who must spend the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. She discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret about a tragedy that took place many years before.
Feature role is Lohan’s first since “I Know Who Killed Me” in 2007, when her career stalled over assertions of unprofessional behavior. [Variety]
Woody Harrelson… Dave Matthews… Yup, that’s the weirdest cast ever. I didn’t even know Dave Matthews acted. But it makes sense that he’s in a movie about a college student. Dave Matthews is to college what Kenny G is to dentists’ offices.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/sevenpsychopathsmovie4-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Woody-Harrelson-Huge-tits-prom-150x150.jpg)
Lindsay thinks it’s weak that Woody and Dave brought weed to this coke party.
I honestly don’t see how this movie can
‘tfail. Really? Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette? Maybe they can sing a duet and finally push me over that ledge of whether or not to go on that killing spree.What? She’s not playing Smeagol in The Hobbit???
Oh, J, speaking of killing sprees, keep an eye out for a report from Eastern Iowa of a morbidly obese man in a Punisher t-shirt using His landlord as a human-torch to set a trailer park alight in an unholy inferno of retribution.
Dave Matthews is to college what Dungeons & Dragons is to high school. It’s ok to like it, just don’t make it well-known fact.
LINDSAY LOHAN GOT A JOB!
That’s weird. I thought she gave them out.
Will do Fek. Make it big and bright enough that I can see the glow from my house.
Lindsay didn’t have a job? That’s strange since she looks like the type of girl who works every night.
The best way to get a job well done out of a slutty college girl is Dave Matthews- this makes sense
Lindsay’s like the town bicycle. Everybody’s had a ride and gotten crabs from it.
*Old idiom is old.
Jesus Christ – the craft services table is going to look like a goddamned frat house kitchen.
Make it big and bright enough that I can see the glow from my house.
If I have it my way, they will see it from *space*.
I’ll make it a big fiery nuts and cock! QAPLAH!
Lindsay will be playing the role of the incredible aging woman. Jesus Fuck didn’t she used to be in her 20s?
Prediction – every prop will be made into a bong.
I thought “The Other Side” would be the name of Lindsay’s anal movie.
Fek, name the day, and I’ll look for a glow in the sky to the south
Yeah! Fuck Dave!
[slides stack of DMB CD's two feet tall behind back]
What!? I’m just fanning a fart over here!
Matter of fact Fek, I’d like to borrow your smoldering landlord when you’re done to set fire to which ever one of these assholes that brought up “I saw the sign” from Ace of Base, causing it to repeat the fucking chorus in my head and subsequently making me type a horrendously long run-on sentence.
‘The Other Side’ is where Lindsay went when she met Samantha Ronson.
The plot summary sounds suspiciously like Lost. I take it Woody Harrelson will be portraying the smoke monster.
I’m a pretty big DMB fan, actually.
Stone: I don’t get it.
That’s a pretty funny joke, Stoney!
If you took that pic, gave her a trucker’s hat (no, a real one, like off of a trucker) a seeping herp sore on her lip, track marks and tweeker tits, that’d look hot.
Stoney, good for you, swell…. now *cough* pass the fuckin spliff man
I’d like to borrow your smoldering landlord when you’re done to set fire to which ever one of these assholes that brought up “I saw the sign” from Ace of Base
[slides previous post behind back]
What?! I think I missed a loop with my belt this morning…
Sorry. It’s the troof.
[Terrorist fist bumps Stone]
Ants 4 liaf!
With this cast, I’m still hopeful that a porno is in the near future, because this is going to be god awful.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/04/who_called_it_firebreathing_ro.php
Simply amazing (work safe)
Jesus. The Japanese are even weirder than Americans.
So is it morbid curiosity that’s driving so many people to root for a Lohan porno? At this point, I’d almost rather see
AliDina star in a porno than this wrecked-out mess. Hell, she’s not even in the top 20 of girls that have been in Disney movies for me.BTK, Angela Lansbury still is though… ROWR!
Holy SHIT!!
How did every.single.one of us miss the lying cunt snake joke on that snake lady thread????
Brett Ratner’s list of top 20 Disney girls is updated every year (DAMN YOU AGING).
*climbs down tree house ladder, shakes vacuum dust from hair*
I blame myself, Crappy. Also, new up.
MY GIRLFRIEND IS A DENTAL HYGIENIST. SHE’S ALWAYS COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT THE KENNY G BEING DRIVEN IN HER HEAD WHEN SHE’S BUSY IN SOME STRANGE GUY’S MOUTH.