05.27.09 KEYBOARD GATO EES TOO SLEEPY

Mexicans don’t drink Corona, they drink Modelo.

If Mexican mice ran a little slower, perhaps all their cats wouldn’t have self esteem issues.

Al Pacino turned down the role of Keyboard Gato to do 88 Minutes

My Mexican cat peed a Z into my rug. His name is Mittens for fuck’s sake.

Mexican Cats behead mice who try to interfere with their catnip cartels

That settles it, Volcano tacos for lunch it is.

My cat used to do such a great job catching mice around the house. But, I just adopted a team of Mexican cats that will do the same job for half the food. They also don’t mind sleeping under the shed instead of on my couch.

I love my Mexican cat, I just wish I could get him to stop crawling under the neighbor’s fence.

Mexican Cat isn’t stalking, he just likes being that low to the ground.

Mexican Cats cough up heroin balls they’ve smuggled.

Mexican Cat doesn’t hunt bugs, but he’s always happy to tell you when there’s a cockroach around.

If you throw a Mexican Cat up, it always lands on your daughter.

My friend Jose will love seeing this in his inbox. Just as soon as that kudzu gets pulled.

The hardest part of owning a Mexican cat? Keeping the neighborhood kids from beating him with sticks.

i got my Mexican Cat from a Home Depot parking lot

Burnsy says: That settles it, Volcano tacos for lunch it is.

I’m feeling that with those cheesy fiesta potatos

Mexican Cat will leave dead birds at your doorstep.

But only to show you he isn’t fucking around.

The Mexican Danny Trejo is Danny Treow? Fuck it. I tried and failed.

Mexican Cats ask “purr favor”.

For Americans, one scratching post is good enough for a maximum of six cats. In Mexico, it services between twelve and twenty.

So some bitch was giving a guy head in a parked car outside my office and 1 of the 7 cops in this town happened to walk by. Just thought I would share. This shit is hilarious.

He was originally intended to be Speedy Gonzalez’s antagonist, but somebody at Warners thought Sylvester, El Gringo Pussygato, was a better foil than a sleepy, lazy and drunk cat.

There should be a Nobel prize for racism.

Lindsey Lohan was offered the role of the kitty in “Keyboard Cat: The Musical” but she wouldn’t accept until the character was fleshed out and got more lines.