“JU MEAN LIKE A PINCHE ZOMBIE?”
05.29.09(Rated-R for naughty language)
This is a teaser for The Strain, which is actually about vampires, not taking a dump. Oh, and it’s a book, not a movie. Written by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan, The Strain: Book One of The Strain Trilogy releases June 2nd.
Del Toro says he teamed with award-winning crime writer Hogan to give The Strain the feel of a science-injected modern television show (which is ironic, because the novel began as del Toro’s outline for a vampire TV series)*. “I’m not good at forensic novels,” del Toro told Wired magazine. “I’m not good at hazmat language and that CSI-style precision. When [Bram] Stoker wrote Dracula, it was very modern, a CSI sort of novel. I wanted to give The Strain a procedural feel, where everything seems real.” [Wired via Cinematical]
With all the good books out there, I hope you wouldn’t spend your time reading Guillermo Del Toro’s dopey vampire book, but whatever. I post this teaser for two reasons: 1. At the 10-second mark, the old man appears to pop up out of the floor – awesome. 2. 50-second mark. The line, “What, like a pinche zombie?” I keep playing it over and over again. Does he actually say “pinche”? Most people who pepper their speech with Spanish words know how to pronounce them. This pinche libro looks puro awesome, ése.
*Not ironic
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“A man with a black cape, fangs, a funny accent”
Mike Tyson before his fight with Holyfield?
Procedural zombie drama?
I’m going to skip right ahead and assume that the guy with the rotting flesh and uneven gait did it.
At least they still understand zombies better than the Cranberries. Who ever heard of zombies with tanks and bombs and bombs and guns? Stupid.
I’m confused.
It’s a book, but it has a trailer. It’s a movie, but it is meant to be like a TV show. It’s about a zombie, but it’s a vampire story.
It’s all too complicated and I don’t come here to think.
*start,programs,games,solitaire*
Gee, it echos in here when you’re all by yourself.
*puts red six on black seven*
Hell no one else is around.
*unzips pants*
I wanted to give The Strain a procedural feel, where everything seems real.”
Trust me, I’ve had the strain before and it felt all too real.
This would have been so much better if Del Toro had written the book with Hulk Hogan instead.
I have no sound so I only watched to the 10-second mark. That WAS awesome.
“I wanted to give The Strain a modern, procedural feel, where everything seems real.”
You know it’s real because the guy in prison is supposed to be Mexican, you see.
Eh…I’ll wait for the DVD to come out- I mean, the paperback.
Del Toro is right. No one would ever take a vampire story seriously without a CSI feel:
“Just another case of vampire-on-vampire crime?”
“No, Frank – I think there’s a lot more at… Stake…” *Sunglasses*
EEEEEEYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Is the world ever gonna realize that CSI fucking sucks?
Pinche Zombies put Tapatio on your brain before eating with a tortilla.
Vodka: Am I ever going to realize that Vampire chicks don’t?
(Let’s see. Apply generously to tip to prevent infection. Huh. This stuff is pretty slippery. Well, why’ll it’s on. *Proceeds to Bunk*)
Pinche Zombies walk with a limp cause the fat laces on their Nike Cortezs are untied.
GRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGGOOOOOSSSSSSS!
If a Pinche Zombie doesn’t get you the first time, he’ll get you later, A. So watch your back, esé.
Pinche Zombies walk with their chins up because their doo-rags obscure the top half of their eyes.
Pinche Zombies like to walk low and slow up and down the boulevard.
Pinche zombies ride a Juan Deere.
Pinche Zombies have “Laugh Now Cry Later” tattooed on their necks.
Pinche Zombies carry ice picks to “let your air out” before they eat.
Excess gas is a problem when you have no functioning intestinal system.
Pinche Zombies wear cutoff jeans at the beach.
Pinche Zombies expect the same rights as the Zombies who came here legally.
You can’t be a Pinche Zombie unless you get jumped in.
“With all the good books out there…”
Umm…I’m guessing you meant Pygmy? >.>
“My God, Frank. Look at those bite marks. It almost looks like she was attacked by some sort of…vampire.”
“Right now it’s just another homicide, Lieutenant. Another one for us to sink…our teeth into.” *Sunglasses*
EEEEYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Pinche Zombies want to know what the score was in the Raider game, ese.
“My God, Frank. Look at those bite marks. It almost looks like she was attacked by some sort of…vampire.”
Explanation:
In the British version of CSI, Horatio’s name is Frank.
“Frank, it looks as if the victim has bite mark lacerations on their head, almost through to the skull. As if they were attacked by….by a zombie.”
Well, we’ll just have to use our BRAAAAAAAINS on this one.” *Sunglasses*
EEEEYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
“Frank, it appears the victim didn’t see the attacker in the mirror before they had their throat torn into. As if…they didn’t appear…”
Well, looks like they’re the victim of a lack…of reflection. *Sunglasses*
EEEEYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
“A man with a black cape, fangs, a funny accent”
Al Davis?
I’m not digging these Blade 2 super vampires. Otherwise, it could be good