Just in case you needed proof that we’re raising a generation of pussies, here’s Spike Jonze modeling a Where the Wild Things Are mask for a child, who refuses to come inside until he takes it off. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the kid’s scared of my favorite book as a kid. After all, this is a generation raised on abstinent rockstars, abstinent vampires*, and basketball teams who don’t actually play basketball but sing super-gay songs about it. If some old man tried to pull this crap on me when I was a kid, I would’ve kicked him in the nuts and rocked out to Slayer.
*They’re vampires, dammit! Sex-crazed minions of Satan!
[via weloveyouso]
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Nowadays, Goonies never say die without their adderall.
If some old man tried this on me, I would’ve thought I needed to lay off my Mom’s stash of LSD and rocked out to Zeppelin.
Eat shit, I’m old.
Nest week, Judy Blume is releasing Ramona and Beezus, Age of Consent.
Next. Shit.
That’s OK, I’ve been reading Encyclopedia nworB and the Case of Teen Dyslexia.
I play a similar game with my neighbour’s kids, although i usually have to put something away rather than take something off before they feel safe. Smart kids.
It’s the shits getting old. For example, just the other day I was told by a younger black kid that shooting free throws granny style was stupid. I told him that we could have a free throw contest, best out of twenty for a hundred bucks. He beat the shit out of me and took my hundy. Touche, youngster. Touche.
If they were to make a modernized feature about the Berenstain Bears, Papa Bear would be a fall down drunk, Mama Bear a floozy that fucks the neighbor, Brother Bear an Emo fuckwad, and Sister Bear a YouPorn sensation.
I have high hopes for our future.
Kids aren’t less tough than they were when we were young, they’re just scared of different things. Ask that kid how he feels about mommy and daddy no longer loving each other and see if he even raises an eyebrow.
Shooting free throws granny style isn’t stupid. It’s just really fucking gay, that’s all.
Back in my day, my Dad would put on black-face and start break dancing and freestyling to scare us.
That shit wouldnt scare my kid. True story time: 1st birthday, trip to Disneyland (yes, more for me), first character he see’s is Captain Hook. He loved him!
Girls today play Vomiting Vomiting Vegans.
I want Spike to cover me in cake batter and play In the Night Kitchen with me.
Hey, when He was a kid, the only thing that really scared Him was clowns. And construction machinery. And flying insects. And old people. And robots. And nuns/priests. And starfish. And snakes. And trailer park people. And nuclear war.
The good news is that He *IS* “trailer park people” now, and is only “50/50″ on snakes and nuclear war!
If some old man tried to pull this crap on me when I was a kid, I would’ve kicked him in the nuts and rocked out to Slayer.
The Mighty Feklahr feels ya, dawg! Then you would draw a picture of what happened for your therapist, right? Just like ol’ Fekky!
This video is from Lance Bangs?
Did you forget which account you were logged into when you put this up? Mother’s Day was two days ago, Vinky.
The only thing a kid should ever be scared of is being told twice.
Hey, you guys would be scared of a monster that had a tail in front, too!
Spike Lee’s version is called Where the Wild Things Is At.
As a kid, I was afraid of heights.
Now look at me, I’m high all the time!
When I was a kid, my parents were afraid I wouldn’t amount to anything. I guess they were right.
You a’mounted your wife, JHC.
When I was a kid, we were ALL afraid our team wouldn’t win anything in our lifetime. There’s only another 20 or 30 years left for some of us, and I’m not hopeful.
My parents never, ever thought that their only son would crawl out of that dumpster.
Al, shut the fuck up.
New up.
Jesus, I had two of the Wild Things dolls when I was a kid and I loved them to death. If I had a child like this I would call the hospital and ask if it were too late for an abortion.