It’s long been feared but now seems confirmed: Production Weekly reports that Johnny Depp will play Tonto in a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced movie version of The Lone Ranger for Disney. Mike Newell, who directed Donnie Brasco but also Mona Lisa Smile will direct the film, which Jerry Bruckheimer promises will have “a supernatural aspect.” (rapping ghosts??)

Apparently all the Indian actors were busy playing rape-wolves in Stephenie Meyer’s latest life lesson for the modern Mormon (beware of feral minorities!).  In any case, I’d love to see Johnny Depp as an Indian, Tom Cruise as a samurai, Charlton Heston as a Mexican, Robert Downey Jr. as a black guy, and Eddie Murphy as a Jew in an awesomely racist incarnation of the Village People.