No wonder he looks so happy! Because he’s going to bite your vagina, get it? …Aw crap, I actually have to report this story now, don’t I. Lame.
An offbeat dramedy that Anonymous Content is producing, “Beaver” centers on the relationship between a man and a beaver puppet he wears on his arm, which he talks to and treats as a companion. Kyle Killen’s script has generated enormous interest in development circles, drawing comparisons to “Being John Malkovich” and ‘Lars and the Real Girl.” [THR]
Uh oh. This project, which topped last year’s black list – the list of the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood – sounded awesome back when Steve Carell was attached. With Jim Carrey… not so much. Then again, dealing with a beaver puppet shouldn’t be much of a stretch for Jim – he’s married to Jenny McCarthy! (*rimshot*)
(I have no idea what that means)
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A rimshot is when a man and a man love each other very much and one man kneels behind…Oh. You meant the thing about Jenny McCarthy. My mistake. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
An ex-Canadian playing with a faux-beaver. Why don’t we just pour some table syrup all over this and pretend it comes from a maple tree.
Also, quirky is on the banned word list. So feel free to use it to excess all day to flog that dead horse to dust. Literally.
The only man who should be running around with a rodent puppet on his hand is Dave Coulier
BTK, Ghost, table syrup is the only Capital Offense up here in the north, just in case you were wonderin’
I’m from that great expanse of hockey rinks and tim Hortonses too. Table syrup, what dreck.
This sounds like the PERFECT Jim Carrey vehicle!
(…in the ‘Natalie Wood’ sense)
Will this movie prompt a return of Mr. Hat on South Park?
HEY! The beaver is a noble animal, a symbol of our great industrious land something something CANUCKS KICKED ASS LAST NIGHT, SUCK IT CHICAGO!
In short, lay off the beaver.
Al, if I had a dime for every time I’ve heard that, I could buy Canadia and make you the Queen or whatever the fuck you guys have up there.
Al, are you sure that’s a double-entendre you want to be throwing around?
*ahem*
FIST!
Rock, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year around here is that Al loves the double entendre. Have you not heard about the Armada?
I will gladly pay $9.00 to see Jim Carrey’s hand up Jerry Mathers’ ass.
Did I really just type that?
Looks again…
Yep.
(points to crotch)
Well played, Mr. Hodey. Well played indeed.
I can’t say I have… I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume I’m missing out though
Al, I didn’t get to watch the game (because I’m from the Deep Souff and don’t even know where to find hockey on the cable dial).
Did your sign get on TV? Did you show your tits?
I WANT ANSWERS!!!
I’d gladly sit Clockwork Orange-style through a Jim Carrey film festival for five minutes with Jenny McCarthy. Just sayin’….
If anyone sees Chino, tell her happy birthday for me and slap her ass.
The title makes me sad. As HST once said in a drug crazed rant, “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.”
New Title:
Carrey Goes Balls Deep into ‘Beaver’.
And that’s how you do that, Zeitchik. Homo.
To Jim Carrey “finger puppet” is a verb.
I had a puppet once. Well, it was a 6 foot tall rabbit. And really, it was just a guy in a rabbit suit. But he told me all kinds of things. About the end of the world.
Fine. I fucking saw Donnie Darko. I liked it. Back off.
Alternate Title:
Punxsutawney Fail
The only Canadian puppets I respect are Casey and Finnigan.
I had a rabbit once. I wore it out. Yee Haw!
To be honest, it was at a PFC meeting.
I don’t give a dam about this movie.
*high five to Eibz
Happy B-day Chino!
He’ll eat her Beaver But she won’t give him Head.