JARED LETO IS MR. NOBODY
05.27.09This is the trailer for Mr. Nobody, from Belgian director Jaco van Dormael. It stars Jared Leto and looks like your basic old-guy-reminisces-about-his-life-in-a-futuristic-pseudo-reality flick.
Mr. Nemo Nobody is 35 years old and lives an ordinary life with his wife and three kids but, somehow, he one day wakes up in the swimming pool of an opulent mansion in the year 2092. Not only is he the oldest man in the entire world, at 120, he’s also the only mortal man – nobody else is ever going to die. He tries to work out what is real, and if his real life is the one he should have lived. [/Film]
So yeah, looks pretty trippy. Anyway, if you’re ever wondering whether your real life is the one you should’ve lived, here’s a handy checklist:
- Am I in a huge f*cking house?
- Are my clothes expensive as f*ck?
- Can I watch TV in my pool?
- Are my underwear made of animal skin?
- Do I smell like a flower store queefed?
- Do I wash my asshole with whale caviar?
If you answered yes to any of these, you’re on the right track. Oh right, like you had something relevant to say about the movie.
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This is not my beautiful house.
I saw Mr. Nobody dancing in front of Six Flags.
Mr. Nobody just picked Sarah Palin as his running mate.
Al, you beat me to the Talking Heads joke. arg!
Sometimes after an all night bender, I smell like a liquor store shit itself.
That’s right. I’m livin’ the dream, fuckers.
Somebody asked, “what if Benjamin Button aged . . . FORwards?”
Who the fuck is Jared Leto?
Yeah, now I can’t get that stupid song out of my head.
Same as it ever was… same as it ever was… same as it ever was…
[hits down arm three times, slaps forehead]
In the U.S. they’re going to release this as Reminding Nemo.
Hey VaLince, why are you washing Chod with caviar?
LET NOBODY HIT THE FLOOR! LET NOBODY HIT THE FLOOR!
No really. I just mopped, dickhead.
This makes me want to call my grandfather before he died ten years ago.
No really. I just mopped
That’s a good little bitch. Now, get to cleaning the shower, fucking floor is all sticky.
If I ever meet Leto, Ima punch him in the mouth for not fucking pandas, just like Norton.
Oh great, another fucker I gotta fill an Aricept prescription for.
This is the guy who gets killed in the the board game for idiots: No Clue.
FUCK WORK!
A Belgian movie about immortal people? Overcompensating for a certain unfortunate baby-stabbing incident?
FUCK MIKE!
Which is the version of his life where he doesn’t look like a prison bitch?
I saw this guy coming on to a fat kid by offering him “popsicles”. (Feels back fat. Cries.)
The Mighty Feklahr washes His asshole in His neighbour’s pool at their big (double-wide) house. Does that count?
Chlorine helps wipe out cling-ons orbitting your anus!
How did I Durst it with an ass joke? BONG!!!!!!!
Really, chlorine ass kills.
I’m so fucking ready to start my 4 day gaycation, but mentally, I’ve been on it since ’89.
Pfft … the REAL Mr Nobody is just a head in a jar.
Great to see Darth Maul back to work after all these years.
I wonder if in 2092, 120 year olds still wear guy-liner.
I preferred Leto in Requiem For a Dream, as “Mr Norightarm”.
In real life, Jared Leto is “Mr. Blow-buddies”
It’s true, Pauly. He starts out acting like it’s just bromance, but bromance leads to bro jobs.
I wonder what “brorance” leads to…
“Reads to”, I mean.
Jesus died for this?
That’s funny, Mr. No Body is what I call my right hand when I give myself the Stranger. My left hand? Jared 1337-0.
Well played Sir.
Pardon me but, whatthefukizgoinonanwhyizdersomenyosezasezdenorsez?
Thanks erswi, your work speaks for itself. Like my stoma.
BTK (look at me!!!), does one say thank you here or is that behavior frowned upon?
That behaviour might get you killed, especially if you omit critical “u”s.
Gotcha, but one can never be too careful. I wouldn’t want to appear Canadian. Society is unkind to people who are “that way.”
I heard Jared did the “can’t swallow the sperm” diet for this role.
Such sacrifice.
Anyway, if you’re ever wondering whether your real life is the one you should’ve lived, here’s a handy checklist:
•Am I in a huge fucking half-way house?
•Are my clothes repulsive as fuck?
•Can I watch TV in a pool of my own blood/ejaculate/anal seepage?
•Are my underwear made of just my skin?
•Do I smell like a liquor store queefed?
•Do I wash my asshole monthly?
If you answered “yes” to any of these, you’re as drunk as me right now.
<—— as drunk as Pauly