05.12.09 ‘IMAX’ IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
When most people think IMAX, we think crazy stadium seating and a 70-foot screen. However, IMAX has recently been lending its name to smaller, digital projection theaters – theaters that some IMAX partners originally wanted to differentiate as “IMAX Digital.” But IMAX co-CEO Richard Gelfond rejected that idea, and now both the original, 70-foot+ IMAX screens and the new, smaller IMAX Digital screens are both being sold as IMAX, leading to some pissed off customers.
This is the position in which Imax is now putting customers who pay $15 to see Eagle Eye: The IMAX Experience at New York City’s new AMC Empire 25 IMAX digital theater, with its 28×58-foot (8.5×18 meter) screen. They see the IMAX name on the theater and have no idea until after their ticket has been torn and they walk into the auditorium that that screen is about the same size as the one in the adjacent 35mm auditorium, and less than a quarter the size of the one in the AMC Lincoln Square IMAX 15/70 theater, 26 blocks away. The screen in the older film theater is 76×98 feet (23×30 meters). [Above] is a graphic representation of the difference. [via LFExaminer's absurdly thorough article on the differences between the two]
One pissed off customer was Human Giant/Parks & Recreation comedian Aziz Ansari, who urged a boycott of “bullsh*t IMAX.”
At the AMC theatre this was my experience at guest services:
Aziz: Yes, I’d like my $5 back. I paid $5 extra for an IMAX screen and that’s not nearly as big as what I have known IMAX to be.
Guest Services: I can’t sir. Its IMAX quality picture and sound.
Aziz: But the screen isn’t big, that’s the whole reason I pay $5 more for IMAX.
Guest Services: Well sir, you watched the whole movie, you could have come out and we could have given you tickets to a different one.
Aziz: Why would I do that? I’d leave Star Trek, the movie I wanted to see and you’d give me a ticket for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past? Oh yeah that’s fair! No, you need to give me the $5 back, its the principle of it. Can I see a manager?
Manager: Sir, we can’t refund the money, you saw the whole film.
Aziz: I don’t want $15, I just want $5 cause AMC lied about IMAX.
Manager: Sir, I can give you popcorn and a drink.
Aziz: I don’t want to go home and drink a nasty soda and eat nasty ass popcorn. I want my $5 back. Its not about the money, its the principle of the matter, ITS NOT IMAX.
Manager: Sorry, I can’t do anything.
Aziz: You know what Twitter is? I have 25,000 followers, I’m tell 25,000 people you run fake IMAX’s and that they should boycott AMC.
Manager: I don’t really care sir.
Aziz: Yeah, I wouldn’t care either if I worked here, but you know you are in the wrong! You should give me $5!!
Manager: SIR, I CAN GIVE YOU POPCORN AND A SODA.
Aziz: I DON’T LIKE POPCORN AND I DON’T LIKE SODA, I WANT MY $5!!!
Manager: Ok here’s two free passes. [via AzizisBored]
So bottom line, beware of fake IMAX. I also advocate using “Do you know what Twitter is?!” as an irate non-sequitir any time you receive poor customer service.
“Excuse me, ma’am, did you charge me for this refill?”
“Sorry, sir, there’s nothing I can do.”
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS??!”
“Hello, Time Warner? Yeah, you charged me for ‘Bikini Disco Sluts 4′, and what I watched was very clearly a mislabeled ‘Bikini Disco Sluts 3.’ I demand a refund.”
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS??!”
“Dude, I said ‘extra jalapeños.’ What the hell is this?”
“Lo siento, señor. Soy muy pobre.”
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS??!!?”
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/irreverent-eric-the-dog-150x150.jpg)
There are 74 comments about:
‘IMAX’ IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
He can’t just take $5 out of the register and expect to keep his job. There’s a paper trail, and somebody who is working poor would get fired for “stealing” over that shit. Fucking duh Aziz.
I’m going to tell my twenty-five thousand and one twits about this post.
It’s hard to take the guy seriously when I’m reading his transcript in an Indian accent.
Aziz: “DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS??!!?”
Manager: “DOES MARCELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE A BITCH??!!?”
There no way this would piss me off any more than the dozen or so equally unimportant things currently on my ass, but I see his point.
Theatre popcorn sucks balls.
Oh Robo. You’ve succumbed to the dark side too? Awesome!
IMAX
MEZOG.
“The 6-Foot Man” is the most boring Monster film I’ve ever seen. Although for some reason all the white guys in the audience were terrified of him.
“I’m going to tell 25,000 people and then they’re going to tell 25,000 people” still isn’t much of a threat in India.
25,000 is just the family Twitter account to Mexican Catholics.
Aziz: Yes, I’d like my $5 back. I paid $5 extra for an IMAX screen and that’s not nearly as big as what I have known IMAX to be.
Acting District Manager for AMC, JHC- The fact that the theater isn’t the size of an airplane hangar didn’t clue you in to thinking something might not be right? Did you think you were walking through that tiny door from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory? Beat it before I have your greasy, camel riding ass deported.
He was just trying to watch a screen big enough to get all of Zhang Ziyi’s head on it at once.
I ♥ Al, too. Man. If we could only get Vince on board as Mr. Lahey, C-Dog as J-Rock and chodin as Randy, we’d be fucking set boys.
JHC: So his ass is already greased up, you say?
Donk can’t change his avatar, so he’s fucked.
Is anyone else imagining Robo typing with one hand, with a rum & coke in the other now?
I just wasted 15 minutes I don’t have on that av, so you damn well better appreciate it.
***kisses!***
Aziz: “Do you know what Twitter is?”
Manager: “Yes. It’s the piece of skin between your twat and your shitter.”
This is a little like pounding a hooker in the hairy ass for 30 minutes while completely ignoring the fact that your ballsack and her ballsack keep touching, then complaining about how you want your money back because you wanted a woman.
…Ratner.
Zog confused. Zog thought IMAX dead. Zog eat coyote in park last summer. Coyote have rope on neck to fat lady with tight pants and gold rings. Fat lady keep yelling “I, Max! I, Max!”
He’s lucky I don’t work at that theater, or the entire second half of that conversation would be me repeating, “Thank you, come again!”
Doesn’t he know that they didn’t want to give him his 5 bucks back because he’s brown?
You say that like you’ve heard it before, P. Dangle.
Looks like Aziz’s red dot went from his forehead to his panties.
That dude clearly only has two feet.
Aziz- Do you know what Twitter is?
Manager- Yeah. Do you know how fucking terrible your show is?
Oooooh, my RoobooPandaaa, my Patrick Swayzeee…
You were so sexy in Roooadhouse…
The manager should have said, “Well you owe me ten bucks for ‘The Happening’ Mr. Shyamalan, so let’s call it even.”
Aziz: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS?
Manager: Uhhh, a chapter of Al-Qaeda?
Does your Twitter ever feel…not so fresh?
Donk: Listen, just because it doesn’t look big enough for your enjoyment at first doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a try
Mrs. Hodey: Are you sure? I mean it’s like three times smaller than I was expecting?
Donk: Yeah, baby. Don’t worry, it’ll still rock your world.
Mrs. Hodey: Ok, let’s go see Star Trek on the smaller IMAX screen.
Aziz: I want my $5!
Manager: This reminds me–Better Off Dead. Not the movie; I would just be happier if I wasn’t alive.
Aziz: I want my $5!
Manager: Ansari, I can’t help you. Anverysari.
Aziz: I DON’T LIKE POPCORN AND I DON’T LIKE SODA!
Manager Michelle Rodriguez: I FUCKING LOVE TACOS!
Aziz: Meh, forget the whole thing.
Snobby cunt: “Sir, sir, yes you in the red chucks…this is a gated community! How did you even get that ice cream truck in here? You must leave…now!
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT FILMDRUNK IS?”
I went and saw Eagle Eye in St. Louis at the BullshitMax. I only saw the fucking thing so I could FINALLY see a movie in IMAX. I got in and I thought, “wow, this isn’t that glorious.” Then the movie started and I wanted to cry.
Turns out it was this bullshit.
I say burn the fuckers down.
Eh, I can’t complain, I saw a really nice Cirque de Soleil movie in IMAX at the Cedar Rapids science center.
However, since I am generally in favour of burning things down, I will be glad to oblige.
Aziz: Yes, I’d like my $5 back.
Manager Pauly D: Look, the sing says “I-MAX” not “I-RAQ”. Now, get lost ya lil’ Doon-Coon before I have your camel towed.
I too have 25,000 followers. Well, I don’t know how many people are in the sex offender registry department of the FBI, but I bet it’s close to that.
Kidding. I’ve only ever offended my wife with my sex.
Pauly-if youwould have stuck the landing on “Dune-Coon”, that would have been nommed. (if it isn’t already)
The last time I had over 25,000 followers is when I caught pubic lice.
Fek, I fucked up the “sign” too.
But I’m not here for the noms, man…
Fuck it, you know He loves ya. *winknod*
Jesse Jackson once claimed to have 25,000 followers but the U.S. Parks service said it was closer to only 10,000.
What’s Moses’ take on all of this? You know his followers are committed.
Popcorn and a soda?
Why would that man offer to do that to that other man in hopes that it would assuage his grievance regarding screen size?
/html durst
That’s quality stuff for my once-a-month post.
Yeeeeh Boyzzzzz!!!!
*whispers
duuuuuurrrssssssst
ell0!!
Congrats! How’s the spawn?
They should show porn on one of these screens and call it “ClI-Max”
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