GOD? PLEASE KILL HASBRO, KTHXBAI.
05.18.09
(Fun for the whole family! Wait, check that, fun for men, for women to experience vicariously while they finish the dishes.)
Transformers was a Hasbro toy, so when a Transformers movie made a bunch of money, Hasbro decided they could apply the same formula for all their toys, even the ones that involved rolling the dice to see how far you could move a piece of fake candy across a piece of cardboard. The latest Hasbro property to get a film adaptation is Battleship (yes, that Battleship). Hasbro and Universal are reportedly close to a deal with director Peter Berg (The Kingdom, Hancock, Very Bad Things).
While plot details are being kept below deck, the studio is looking to make an epic naval action adventure. [THR]
Of course they are. I can see it now.. “Fire again!” “Miss.” “Damn! The North Koreans must be… traveling diagonally! Clever bastards!!!” Haha, but on a serious note, I hope everyone at Hasbro gets cancer.
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“A-1″ is how many people go see this.
As we have the nuclear family i’m gonna go with the nuclear option. Boom. Game over, son. I’m off. Don’t wait up.
Michael Bay wants to direct this and call it C-3.
Oh no, Peter Berg! You sank my respect!
Nic Cage has signed on to play the part of Mr. Potato Forehead.
It’s times like this I wish I had gone to med school so that if these guys got cancer, I could operate on them. And I would laugh maniacally every time the buzzer went off.
Haha, but on a serious note, I hope everyone at Hasbro gets cancer.
Our luck, they’ll turn their cancer battles into a documentary series called Operation!.
One does not roll dice in Candyland.
Currently I’m trying to bomb 34.098001,-118.326645 with my mind.
Better Headline:
Battleships on collision course with Peter
IceBergJohn Woo is attached to direct Shoots and Radders.
Not to be outdone, Milton Bradley announced plans to make a film based on the game “Connect Four”. It will basically be a gay porn about four dudes that like to hump each other up the butt at the same time.
Damn it JWDH I logged on to make the same joke…pretty sneaky sis.
Things looked good for the Etch-A-Sketch movie, but casting Michael J. Fox killed it.
Duke: They already made that. They called it Wolverine: Origins. Get with the times Man!
<——-Still making gay jokes about a movie that came out two weeks ago. Speaking of coming out…
Peter Berg will name the sequel to this “Sorry”.
Kid: G-4!
Dad: It’s a hit!
Admiral Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!!!
Sounds long and hard and full of seamen.
The Mighty Feklahr bets dollars to donuts that Dad has Fifi licking peanut butter under the table there.
…
Fifi being the blind, gimp, son they keep chained in the basement.
Vince – it’s time to celebrate. Clearly Hollywood is reading this site and stealing the “ideas” we propose.
In other news – IT’S CALLED SARCASM YOU STUPID FUCKS!!!!! WE’RE MAKING FUN OF YOU DOUCHEBAGS.
The only boat film in history that guarantees to make you sea sick.
Yeah Stoney, what’s next? A “Magic: The Gathering” feature fi…
*phoot*
*Lince puts down dart blowgun*
They tried to make a Rubic Cube movie but after 10 minutes everyone but asians walked out
I fucking guarantee my sister will spend half this movie glancing at my half of the screen.
If I wanted to see a film about filling holes I’d Google “Mrs. Mancini.”
But honestly this movie will suck. Unless its Talking Electronic Battleship then it will suck and require 4 AA batteries
If I wanted to see a movie that requires 4 batteries, I’d Google “AL.”
Young Spock is dubious at how many white pegs he has on his board and is pretty sure young Kirk moved his destroyer.
I hope the movie is told from the submarine’s perspective as the captain and first officer argue about why the hell they don’t just dive underwater during the aerial bombardment.
Atari Trilogy
I’m waiting for the David Lynch adaptation of The Game Of Life.
I thought they were makin a movie about the 9/11 terrororist attacks but it was just for Jenga the movie
Pauly: Dick-4
Burnsy: What’s a “Dick-4″?
Pauly: [giggles]