THE SUCKIEST POSTER THAT EVER SUCKED
05.27.09
Man. I’ve seen a lot of crappy movie posters in my day, but even aside from the impressive collection of floating bodies and jagoff clichés in this new G.I. Joe poster, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a poster designer stoop to photoshopping sunglasses on someone’s face. Ever wonder how stuff like this happens? I bet it went down a little something like this:
Original design:
“Hmm. I like it, but… do you think it’s… cool enough?”
“Perfect.”
(Get it? The llamas are a metaphor)
[poster source = movieweb, and for all your llama saddling needs, check out Northern Colorado Llama Saddles]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/monsieur_lazhar__ver2_C-Tates-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Julia-Roberts-and-Armie-Hammer-in-Mirror-Mirror-2011-Movie-Image-600x354-150x150.jpg)
I hope they at least bothered to photoshop her running into a door or falling down the stairs first.
Left to right: The Cowardly Lion, Dorothy, The Tin Man, Scarecrow.
The future’s so bright….
Photoshopped shades.
Who the fuck trained Jodie LaForge to use a katana? I want names people.
I photoshopped my dick near Sienna Millers mouth by standing next to the poster and having my brother take a picture before theater security caught us.
Set phasers to stunna.
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2009/05/last-person-on-earth.html
Now two posts late, but there it is in all of it’s glory!
I for one welcome our future in which all women must wear skin tight latex. Invest in gold bond….
Will that Radical Llama be voiced by Wilmer Valderamma?
I didn’t even know that Photoshop had a “Sharpie” tool.
@ Fek
*slow clap* Bravo
You call that Cosplay!? I’ll show you fuckers cosplay! (puts on Mom’s underwear. Mom still in them) Tada! Shia Labeouf!
The lens flare nipple is certainly a nice tough. JJ Abrams would be proud.
Where I come from, “tough” and “touch” are interchangeable terms.
Get it? The llamas are a metaphor
Aaaanddd… they’re standing in a meadow for llamas.
HOLY SHIT THERE’S A SPIDER HERE IN THE CORNER! GET ME MY GOTH GLOVES AND MACE!
Tagline: Evil never looked so good.
Really? What about the Steve Buscemi looking guy on the ventilator in the back right? 1 Asian with guns doesn’t make up for rapist hair.
All nipples will have lens flare once our sex robots get tired of fucking our saggy asses and destroy humanity.
Good blog post Fek. Okay, I’m going to bite the bullet. Explain the llama metaphor please.
Qah Plah!
Is that fuckin’ Kevin Sorbo in the back?
*gets on fandango and orders 18 tickets to GI Joe immediately*
Woody Allen is suing.
Cuz llamas are like waaay lame. Even with sunglasses.
Vince – be careful with your photoshop skillz. You may have just inadvertently inspired ‘Llama Jack’.
Nice, Fek. My plan is pretty much the same as yours, except with fewer love dolls and alot more arson.
So if you cut a piece out of a metal trashcan and strap it to a llama that counts as a saddle? I’m in the wrong racket.*
*sniff testing Axe’s new product for anal hygene, Axe Crack.
Vince, shitty poster to be sure, but i think the baby on the “hangover” poster beat GI Joe to the photoshopped sunglasses punch. Its better done, but i saw the actual poster in the lobby of a movie theater a few weeks back and those sunglasses were not put on that baby naturally
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/showest_hangover1.jpg
those sunglasses were not put on that baby naturally
Out-of-context line of the day so far.
I wear my sunglasses at night. So I can, so I can check out your tits without you catching me.
That’s OK, none of those boobs are real either.
In the poster, Duke appears to be pondering the age old question “
Do the drapes match the carpetDoes this spandex make me look fat?”.those sunglasses were not put on that baby naturally
Yeah not like the good old days ala Three Men and a
NutsockBaby when they would just use super glue or staples.Dammit, they used the Sharpie tool on the dude’s missing tooth in that Hangover poster, too. My version must be defective.
::: opens can of whoop-ass, dials Adobe customer support :::
I wear my sunglasses at night. So I can, so I can check out your tits without you catching me
It’s been so long since I’ve heard that song – I completely forgot that line. Corey Hart was a genius.
Photoshop done by Shlomuck’s Imagineering.
Remember at Shlomuck’s Imagineering our moto is, “But We Tried!”
You know what says badass Ika-Ryu Ninja assassin? A huge fucking white wool turtleneck sweater.
I know im just stating the obvious but is that chick farting fire?
Man, I always have such a hard time choosing between good evil…now I can feel comfortable with BOTH! I don’t know if this will be as good without Brendan Fraser (*sigh*)