Friday Free For All is that time of the week when I post videos that may or may not be timely, newsworthy, or relevant. Because only a-holes work hard on Friday. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com.
Today’s clip comes courtesy of RoboPanda, and features the timeless elegance of a cat who’s too fat to fit through the pet door, and then makes a big racket before finally squeezing through. Kevin James is already trying to buy the rights.
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The cat went on to take his frustrations out on a dog that was inexplicably standing atop a dining room table.
I always go backdoor on a pussy that fat.
*continues fly fishing*
Coincidently, I had a very similar experience first thimg this morning.
“thimg” That’s how we say it here down South.
PAULYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Winnie the Pooh thinks that cat is being a pussy.
Uh…yeah?
In the follow up video, an incredibly hairy cat in short shorts and a flamboyant wifebeater will come into that cat’s life and change it for the better forever.
Geez you got a big pussy, geez you got a big pussy.
Lay off the lasagna, Garfield.
My Brother affectionately calls his fat, Hispanic girlfriend’s
pussy El Gato Gordo. (Ignores male/female Spanish naming conventions)
A big pussy and a tight hole. It just don’t get better than that.
My brain hurts from trying to rationalize a pussy that’s too big for a hole.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
I bet Bubbles watches this 40-50 times.
Sexman’s mom got this confused with the video for his birth.
Ignores male/female Spanish naming conventions
How can you ignore them? They are like massive, loud parties. From the hotel lobby, all you hear is “JUAN!” “PEDRO!” “ANNA!”
LEAVE FRECKLES ALONE!!!!@!1!@
To my parents’ dog, this would look like what happens when my Snickers bars get caught in the vending machine.
Stoney: And somewhere in there is a tiny voice still recommending Fangster.
The clip should have ended with a guy in his shorts yawning and asking the cat “Oh, you wanna go outside?”, and promptly depositing the cat back outside. Or an explosion.
C’mon boys, don’t make fun of the fat kitty. She can’t help it that she’s a fat ass. I’m sure she’s probably got a thyroid disorder, maybe a little bit of a drinking problem or her african american boyfriend likes her thick.
*sounds a lot better if you use Bubbles voice*
Serendipity that the cat’s name is Muffin-Top.
If that were a black cat, Oprah and Tyler Perry would be in talks to produce an uplifting movie about it right now.
I did J, and it was alot better.
+
Are there any Canadians in the crowd today? I have a very important question.
You know, this reminds me of what my doctor says. He’d pull that thermometer out of my ass and say “Pauly, you got to loose weight if you want to live a long, healthy life”.
I’d tell him “I would but I need some more motivation than that”.
Hey, C-Dog. How about them Ducks?
Fag.
I’m here J, whadaya wanna know?
Do black people up there prefer to be called African-Canadians, Rock?
Geeez they got a big pussy.
{Geez they got a big pussy.}
That sounds vaguely familiar, lTop.
I bet they like to be called ‘coloureds’ J.
Bla-ack people?….. hmmm… not that I’m aware of, but I’d have to assume so… there aren’t that many that I can think of (we have more Pakis, chinks, and injuns up here)
Why did you say it twice, El Topo?
JHC, already used that line earlier. Did it really need to be repeated?
Ahhhh, SHIT, J
{Ahhhh, SHIT, J}
I’m gonna go (to hell) with:
Beer Chuckers.
I hear they have an energy drink marketed specifically towards black people in Canada.
Eaux Snap!
mine’s as big as a house
[drops trou, lays dick on table]
Meh, Donk, I could try to give a fuck but I’d be lying. Just getting a bit tired of the Wings, eh? Some great playoff series this year though.
Sorry, C-Dog. But I’ve been trying to find a place to give Ducks fans shit all day but I can’t seem to find any of them.
Hey, vato, I was jus’ gon’ borrow it for a lil while. I didn’t know it was jours.
JHC, I’d go with “spuques.”
BTK, J, if that African Canadians thing was even remotely topical, I would suck it off on the way to the nom thread. I snorted so hard I prolapsed a sinus.
I’m going on record to state my case that I in no way intended for my question to bring the little racists out of everyone today. I’m not saying it’s not a funny little side effect though.
Rock, we call them ragheads, gooks, and drunks here.
Aw shit. I’ve succumbed to peer pressure again. Fuck.
Bla-ack people?….. hmmm…… there aren’t that many.
Interested in trading a few million for some Maple Syrup?
El Gato Gordo is the El Pollo Loco of Southeast Asia.
Black people in Canada are referred to as “Lost”.
no way Tengo, we’re only giving up that syrup for something useful
You’re not fooling anyone, Drummond!
We only get black people in Canada when the natives smoke and huff gas at the same time
Ah damn.
Thanks Crappy. It seems like I’m usually funniest when I’m serious. For instance, I’ll ask my wife if she wants to fuck and she laughs her ass off.
Dammit, JHC, where was this question on the Oprah thread where I could at least justify nomming the replies as topical?
Stoney… “lost”… beheheheh
We only get black people in Canada when the natives smoke and huff gas at the same time
Or when the Raptors are playing a home game.
Hey WTF?! Let’s try thing again;
Sling it my way Donk, I’ll take it, I’m a fag! LOLJTZK!!!
How about, jigabeuxs
We don’t talk about that outside of Toronto, J
Peet, I don’t think Vince ever verifies the posts and threads. Go ahead. I won’t tell if you don’t. Pinkie swear?
Make that, Jigabeauxs.
fuck.
Sambeaux?
Pourch Mounkeys?
“Sambeaux? Jigabeauxs?”
How about just really cold people with skinny ankles.
I thought they called black people “moose” in Canadia…
Ceauxns
Negreaux’s
Black Canadians respect white people as rappers. Seriously: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZRTvg4ttgc
Unfortunately, there’s a neaux up.
Black Canadians Licky Boom Boom Down like this…
Good thing cuz I was having a hard time spelling Darqueies.
It depends on what province they’re from. For instance, Black people in Calgary are known as Fat Albertans.
Al’s gonna be pissed when she finds out aboot this thread.
She’s Canadian, J. She’ll probably apologize to us!!
Ha! Yeah. Also, I had to go outside and take a smoke break to get all my laughing out in the open. I was about to shoot snot onto my monitor from trying to hold it in.
That woulda been HOT!
Wanna make out?
Sure. I have to warn you though. I’ve been fighting a
herpes flare uphead cold for a week.You know, I just remembered that my mom told me it’s bad form to proposition my lord and savior so I’ll pass.
*blows kiss, runs away FAST*
Figures.