Guess what, everyone! Carlos Mencia is finally getting that starring movie role he so richly deserves!
Forest Whitaker, America Ferrera and Carlos Mencia have signed on to star in an untitled family wedding project for Fox Searchlight. Rick Famuyiwa (“Brown Sugar”) is directing the pic from a screenplay he penned. Described as a clash-of-cultures comedy [Shocking -Ed.], story centers on two overbearing fathers (Whitaker, Mencia) who must put aside their differences to plan the wedding of their son and daughter (Ferrera) in less than two weeks. [Variety]
Mencia’s last role was a bit part in Heartbreak Kid in which he proved he can’t even do a convincing Mexican accent, so I’m sure he’ll do fine opposite an Oscar winner. I mean, look at this picture. I didn’t even have to Photoshop that.
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Lazy Mexicans, Lazier Eyes
Yo no quiero.
Oscar Winner en espanol es “Oscar Wiener”.
Considering Carlos Mencia, born Ned Arnel Mencía, is only half Mexican — born in Honduras and raised in Los Angeles, he’s only slightly more Mexican (and lazier) than I am.
So if Carlos Mencia is America Ferrara’s father, I’m guessing Forest Whitaker’s son will be played by Jaleel White.
The entire film will be Mencia repeating Forest’s lines.
Forest Whitaker’s father once took PCP, good thing his eyes are so slippery…
The only things missing from that Carlos Mencia picture are handcuffs and a leaf blower.
Alternate title: Quinceañeragro.
Dey call me MEESTER TEEBS!
[Snakes Lucas salt on FD]
Heh, I just gave an untitled film an alternate title.
Well, while we’re here, they should make it center on a dance competition and call it ‘Step-Dads’.
America! Fuck Ya!
They keep trying to make me think Ugly Betty is an object of desire, but I’m sorry, I’d have to be forrest to get whitaker.
“Who Dat Comin’ to Beaner” ?
“Vato of The Bride” ?
See, black people be married like this, and Mexicans be married like…
[gigantic weight with "20 tons" written on the side lands on Crappy]
Carlos Mencia is a charter member of “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Rants.”
The only line Mencia has and repeats through the entire movie is “What ju looking at?”.
You know Mencia isn’t fully Mexican because he doesn’t avoid Searchlights.
I’d watch a show called American Ferrari Chopper.
Hmmm… a Mexican chick marrying a black guy?
African-Mexican jokes anyone?
Mencia was born from his Mom vomiting after she received a Dirty Sanchez.
The studio is hoping this film will spark a franchise, with a sequel already in the works that will follow the comic exploits of the mixed race children that the couple produce and will be titled “The Negroe Frijoles: 2 Lazy 2 Steal”.
JHC: I can’t think of anything funny about that.
At the wedding reception they’ll serve chicken tacos.
There you go J.
I’m wagering this mash-up will be set in Kentucky, or perhaps Montana.
Strawberry-pickin jeans
Eyebrows drawn on her
She got the whole club lookin’ at her
She hit the flo’; next thing you know
Shorty got low low low low low low low (rider)
Make Dane Cook Whitaker’s adopted son and watch him and Mencia step into an infinite joke stealing loop.
This confirms Mencia’s role in the gay community. He is an “over bear,” whatever that is.
It’ll never work. Everyone knows black guys don’t like to eat tacos.
Was Danny Trejo too busy or something?
Spigger?
Ok, we can keep the pinata, but do we have to hang it from a tree?
Carlos found something else to steal, white people’s shock and inherent bigotry toward interracial marriage. Nice one asshole.
The Mighty Feklahr assumes that the valet parking at the wedding will provide free cement blocks?
Mencia, Ferrara, and Whitaker? I HARDLY KNOW HER!
The open bar will only stock Hennessy and Budweiser.
Crapbasket says:The open bar will only stock Hennessy and Budweiser.
No Corona?
They’ll always be arguing about whether they should swim across or light up the reefer.
Fuck Corona. You know why you have to pour salt and suck lemons to drink that piss? Because it tastes like piss. I will never understand why people drink that swill. It fucking sucks, bad.
Pacifico rocks.
They could compromise on Tequila. I hear the hip hop is fond of Patron “in da club.”
Pacifico kicks ass!
That’s the great thing about this country, all races can come together in America.
Kanye West is a little dickhead.
Jus’ sayin’.
SPOILER ALERT! In an important scene midway through the film, Mencia busts open a giant pinata filled with heavy watermelons which then fall out and make that “hollow coconut” sound as they repeatedly hit him on the head, prompting him to look at the camera and say the film’s hilarious catch phrase “Aye yay yay! I hate theez steenking neeegurrrs”.
[Logs onto Amazon, orders Forrest's biography]
Forrest Whittaker; Eyeconic Black Actor
I hope there’s a scene where FW’s wandering eye causes a misunderstanding with Carlos’ mom’s tits.
*Logs onto Amazon, orders Angelo Mendoza Jr’s biography*
Angelo Mendoza, Eyegonic Victim of PCP Trip gone wrong
RED BEANS AND RICE VS. RED RICE AND BEANS!
WHO YA GOT?
I wonder if anybody had ever had an Oscar up their ass.
Now you do too.
Angelo Mendoza says:
Haha! I love eye patches!
SPOILER:
They find a common ground when they catch each other holding up the same liquor store at the same time.
Carlos thinks hijinks is a insulting word for zipper heads.
The closest Carlos Mencia will get to getting an Oscar is taking a picture with De La Hoya.
…put aside their differences to plan the wedding of their son and daughter (Ferrera) in less than two weeks.
Son AND daughter? I smell an Oscar nomination…
When reached (around) for comment, Chris Hemsworth said: “After a thtrenuouth therieth of auditionth with theveral cathting directorth, I can finally thay … I am Thor.”
I know you guys are still shocked at the Dad eating his kid’s eyes, but that isn’t half as bad as when 7 ate 9.
…put aside their differences to plan the wedding of their son and daughter…
So it’s about the incestuous union of two gay guys’ kids? Woody Allen is kicking himself for not thinking of it first.
And for not making a movie about it first, too.
Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher must be rolling in their graves.
It’s like the old saying goes “The eyes were bigger than your stomach”.
Well, I guess that isn’t true when eyes are in your stomach.
I think Chino gets to step on YOUR dick for that one, Conky.
Or maybe she’ll just eat your eyeballs. Or cast you in a clash-of-cultures comedy.
Stay the fuck away from me, Conky!
I’m just flying off at the handle here, Randy…
and why does this handle end up your ass?
Is that what that was? I thought my ‘rroids musta flared again.
*extracts handle*
Here ya go pal.
“Death to America Ferrera”
-Al Qaeda at the Movies
I guess they saw an advance screening?
GUESS WHO’S COMEEN TO DEENER, ÉSE
To cater?
It looks like Forest Whitaker is trying to read a question in spanish and the ‘¿’ is throwing his eye off.
The son and daughter better have matching neck tats and expecting a baby or I call bullshit.
I can’t wait to see the scene where the wedding is almost ruined because they can’t agree on whether to have fried chicken or grilled chicken at the reception.
Described as a clash-of-cultures comedy
Wasn’t that the premise for “Blood In, Blood Out”?
(BET•Telemundo)+TBS = This movie
I’ll only watch this movie if it’s a sequel to Last King of Scotland, and Mencia is playing “Executed Dissident # 300,001 (beheading)”.