05.14.09 FIRST TRAILER FOR ‘THE ROAD’
(Don’t worry, Viggo, someday you’ll be a butterfly.)
At long last, we have the first trailer for The Road, John Hillcoat’s (The Proposition) adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s pulitzer prize-winning novel, starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron. McCarthy also wrote No Country for Old Men and Blood Meridian, and critics have often described his work as “gnarly as f*ck.”
The Road is the epic post-apocalyptic tale of a journey taken by a father and his young son across a barren landscape that was blasted by an unnamed cataclysm that destroyed civilization and most life on earth. [TrailerAddict]
It opens in October, and my guess is that it’s going to be pretty good. For one thing, no one can look like the survivor of an apocalyptic event like Viggo. For another, skulls mounted on sticks in the trailer. Think about it, have you ever seen a movie that had skulls mounted sticks in the trailer that wasn’t awesome? Is the answer yes? Congratulations, you’re a liar.
[also available in HD at Yahoo]
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There are 63 comments about:
FIRST TRAILER FOR ‘THE ROAD’
blasted by an unnamed cataclysm that destroyed civilization and most life on earth
Grethor, due to Fek’s landlord?
The last journey I took across a barren wasteland ended in a bitter argument and ultimately, a divorce.
If this road happens to be paved with good intentions, stop traveling down it immediately.
And if it diverges in a yellow wood, we’ll never know how it ends.
A journey across a barren wasteland is driving to work in Nebraska.
“That boy looks hungry, c’mere, I’ve got something in the truck”
You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that said in a southern accent
[throws handful of pocket change at Viggo's pic]
Now, go get a job ya stinky fucking mooch!
I know this film has a strong pedigree, but as soon as I see the words “post-apocalyptic” the dismissive wanking motion is an autonomic response.
[throws bar of soap at Viggo's pic]
It’s called a bath ya fucking hippy! Get out of my town!
For one thing, no one can look like the survivor of an apocalyptic event like
Viggoyour mom after I took her on that acid fueled coke binge Vegas weekend.The Road is what I call you sisters.
Willie Nelson is hoping for a sequel already.
“You sisters” is what I type when I mean those other whores your mom squirted out.
I didn’t know Viggo was Kris Kristofferson’s kid.
I’m going to start referring to all non-post-apocalyptic movies are pre-apocalyptic.
Do Viggo and his son only agree to let Charlize go along if they get to tag team her? If not, I’ll wait for Starz to pick this up.
Are half of them heading to Boulder and the other half to Vegas*?
*unrelated to my mom’s trip with Crappy
“It’s bubbly” is the response I get from most boys I feed warm liquid to.
The last journey I took across a barren wasteland ended in a bitter argument and ultimately, a divorce.
Funny, MIZ – the last bitter argument I had ended in a divorce FROM a barren wasteland.
Ya Al, in the States we call splitting up a group on a road trip like that Captain Trips.
Damn, Stoney. That’s worth two BOOSHES.
I am building one of those robots that breathe fire. Fuck it.
The last journey I took across a barren wasteland was to cross the border into los Estados Unidos.
Thanks, JHC, but Stoney would rather have a bird in his hand.
To: Vinky Mangina
From: Diremutt
Re: Skulls on Sticks
Beastmaster.
And fuck you if you try to defend that film, unless you are 10, it fucking sucks like a weeping asshole at a white tie dinner.
Omar Fucking Little Bitches!
Dodgers win! FUCK PHILLY!!
Thanks, JHC, but Stoney would rather have a bird in his hand.
Another line item on my divorce filing.
The last journey I took across a barren wasteland was when my buddy convinced me to visit him in Saskatoon. FUUUUCCCCKK
Pretty sweet Howie Long scream there near the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf6_hok4-lo
Friends don’t encourage friends to visit Saskatoon, Rock.
Sackastoon? Come on, you guys are just making shit up now.
He and I don’t speak anymore… I think I’m still supposed to be his best man though… maybe
[A truck approaches Viggo at high speed as he stand on the roadside. In the back of the truck stands Crappy, who, as they pass, hurls a can of Budwieser at Viggo hitting him in the head and drawing an exclaimation of pain. As the truck speeds away Crappy can be heard to yell]
Hey Malkovich, you SUCK!
Is Sackastoon another Inuit word for snow?
No Crappy, it’s Canadian for Bismarck, North Dakota
“Sackastoon” is what you tweek to tune a skin flute.
Beastmaster rebuttal: Rip. Torn.
Viggo thinks that milk was a bad choice.
Viggo is the Taint of Carpathia.
Viggo is used to having change thrown at his feet.
I understand where Viggo’s coming from. After seeing how disappointing Maria Bello’s boobs were, I almost went the hobo route.
Viggo’s hobonutsack smells like piss(tachio)
The cataclysm was probably the result of Michael Bay mind-melding with the WOPR. WORLD GO BOOM!
Viggo looks like a goddamn samsquamch!
[Empties ashtray at Viggo's pic]
Coupla good butts in there, get diggin stinkbag.
I went Viggo for a year…
It made my pee real pungent and my jizz smell like like chlorine.
Rip Torn rebuttal: Robocop 3
Viggo really needs two dollars because he ran out of gas and is trying to get to his mom’s house in Fresno, really.
Viggo like this… Veyggo like that…
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