05.17.09 CMNTS OF THE WEEK: GREASY SAX EDITION

Howdy, folks.  No Comments of the Week prize to give away this week, just bragging rights and this awesome greasy sax man gif to be enjoyed by all (via Thighs Wide Shut).

As always, the way this works is, at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of THIS post below.  I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

Got it newbs?  Good.  Anyway, let’s start this off with the always-popular ex-wife joke.  Stone Soup from the HUMPDAY TRAILER thread:

• Stone Soup says: “My ex wife f-cked my straight best friend and won a prize - my furniture.”

Next up, FistfulofAwesome puts the rest of our gay jokes to shame and makes it look easy while doing it.  From WEEKEND BOX OFFICE:

• FistfulOfAwesome says: “Wolverine loves sliding into the #2 spot.”

Get it?  #2 spot?  Pretty highbrow. In BRUNO IS THE AUSTRIAN ZAC EFRON, The Mighty Fek’lhr found the obvious joke about… Kirk Cameron.

• The Mighty Fek’lhr says: “Even Kirk Cameron can admit that dicks fit better in hands than bananas do. However, he isn’t sure how it fits into God’s plan for him.”

Later in the week, AZIZ ANSARI VS. IMAX released a deluge of race jokes, most of which weren’t funny.  Here are a few that were.

• TengoDooter says: Aziz: “I paid $5 extra for an IMAX screen and that’s not nearly as big…”
  Manager: “What’s the matter? Afraid you won’t be able to hit it with an airliner?”
• Burnsy says: “No, Aziz. For the last time, spray the deodorant in the other direction.”
• Pauly Dangerously says: “Looks like Aziz’s red dot went from his forehead to his panties.”

Advantage, Pauly.  Next, Donkey Hodey picked up on the pop-up video approach to the ANGELS & DEMONS TRAILER:

• Donkey Hodey says: *Pop!*  Tom Hanks used to be a respectable actor!

It was also Donk with the leading theory on why William Shatner insists on pronouncing sabotage “Sabo-tadge.”

• Donkey Hodey says: “In Shatner’s world, everything rhymes with vadge.”

Similarly, Pauly Dangerously had a wise take on SPIKE JONZE SCARES KID WITH WILD THING MASK:

• Pauly Dangerously says: “As a kid, I was afraid of heights. Now look at me, I’m high all the time!”

Inspiring, isn’t it?  Then back to Donk for frog pick up lines in PRINCESS AND THE FROG TRAILER:

• Donkey Hodey says: “Hey baby, you don’t sound right. You got a frog in your throat?  Want one?”

Also back in AZIZ ANSARI VS. IMAX, The Mighty Fek’lhr wins the peanut gallery award for vastly improving a comment through his response:

• Stone Soup says: “I faced a similar backlash in college after I chose to wear a t-shirt that read ‘12 Inch Penis’ with an arrow pointing down.”
• The Mighty Fek’lhr says: “Maybe you should have stopped wearing it backwards, Stoney…”

Moving on, no one does it quite like John Wayne in a Devo Hat.  From NATASHA RICHARDSON SKI HELMET AD:

• John Wayne in a Devo Hat says: “Woody Allen heard the mountain had a ‘nursery slope’ and showed up with a bag of candy and a hard on.”

And it wouldn’t be Comments of the Week without at least one bad-good pun. From SCORSESE DIRECTING SINATRA BIOPIC:

• Crapbasket says: “You Dagos need to stop living in the pasta.”

This RoboPanda comment from SLUMDOG KID’S HOUSE TORN DOWN gets the awesome visual award.

• RoboPanda says: “Advent of the Monsoons is what I call it when Jesus goes wakeboarding.”

And in CAT TOO FAT FOR PET DOOR, we all knew there would be “big pussy” jokes.  Pauly does it best:

• Pauly Dangerously says: “I always go backdoor on a pussy that fat.”  *continues fly fishing*

And our winner is… Stinky Peet, in the PRINCESS AND THE FROG TRAILER:

• Stinky Peet breaks the levee: “This is going to do terrible box office, the people of New Orleans aren’t going to fall for that ‘Let me show you a great new trailer’ bit twice.”

Congratulations to the winners, better luck next week, everyone else.