I’ve never been a fan of fake white hair on short Latin girls or skanky pornstar makeup or fake boobs that only look good after pregnancy, but I know Christina Aguilera has her fans so this story’s for them. She’s soon to be making her acting debut in a role as a “burlesque dancer,” which I guess is like a stripper who can read.
Burlesque, for Screen Gems, casts the singer as an ambitious smalltown girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club. Steven Antin will direct from his own script. [EmpireMovies]
I understand finding love and success, but how do you find family at a strip club? Just because I ask to call you “mama” doesn’t make it so.
…Does it?
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Christina Aguilera is a real slut.
From what I hear, Puerto Ricans find family members at strip clubs all the time. Just what I heard.
Burnsesque is about a guy who masturbates three times daily.
The best part about fake strippers? You can tip them with Monopoly money. Sometimes even Monopoly game pieces.
In other movie news that are remotely stripper related, The Mighty Feklahr rented “The Wrestler” last night. Pretty durn good!
“This isn’t the first time a guy paid for a recently pregnant stripper. Oh, and that’s How I Met Your Mother”- My Dad
I’m having flashbacks to Glitter and crossroads…the horror…the horror.
What’s lactating, ladies?
Xtina, as a stripper? Does she really have the acting chops to pull this off?
I keep peripherally noticing how unattractive she is, and then I’m distracted by her boobs.
I’M distracted by her boobs. I’m sure to you guys, Vince’s post looks like this:
“Ekwla;e eigniekw; krelk i ikl kewjr ;adif uoowie hamn bci die wng; ae’e gvaeee kwl ivniisl;i kewq negfl huw henq uqunf, iowe krjns,e jhtowp keje huklaew, eioiso.”
She’s got good pipes.
*puts Al’s post in the universal translator*
It reads, “OMFG, LOOK AT THE BIG TITTIES”.
Dor sho gha! The Mighty Feklahr put Al’s post through His trusty and accurate Universal Translator!
look at American dogs of pig, Canada come outside and they take their hairstyles which are encouraged by Hockey with them
You fucking cunt.
She’s got good pipes.
And I’m a Master Plumber, Gnome Sayin’?
True, Fek put more thought into it, but there’s something to be said for “short and sweet”.
Right, JHC? I’m not suggesting anything…
I met her in person years ago at a trade show, when she was the new face of some cosmetics company. Her tits only look big because she’s roughly the size of an American Girl doll. I seriously think I could have smuggled her on an airplane in my carry-on bag.
If only there had been a hardware store near the convention center, I would have known for sure…
Thanks for sharing that mammary, Peet.
That’s right Al. Wait, are we talking about my penis? Okay. Yes. New up. Sorry Mighty One.
I’ll take Famous Titties for 200.
Hell, Bane, I’ll take unknown titties for free.