05.29.09 ZACHARY QUINTO COVERED IN MILK. IN SLO-MO.

This is what happened when Fek met him, right?

I’m not half the expert on the male anatomy that some people around here probably are, but Im going to hazard a guess that the guy offscreen has an ejaculation problem.

I’d make a dismissive wanking motion but it looks like a whole bunch of dudes beat me to it.

Milk, huh? Okay. If you say so.

I have a sneaking suspicion there is a black dude off camera with a three foot cock that shoots 5 gallons of spooge. You know, the kind of porn star that has to wear a “support apparatus” that conveniently hides his 2″ prick?

This is the gayest milk since Harvey.

Wasting perfectly good milk? How dairy?

*moon walks to the corner*

I did the same thing except instead of splooge it was diarrhea and instead of Zachary Quinto it was Kevin James. Sadly, Kevin thought I was in heat so I had to high-tail it out of there (which probably just turned him on more).

Vulcan’s are very serious about their Bukkake. If only they had wacky variety shows they could be the alien version of the Japanese.

They cut out the credits. Here’s the transcript:

Man covered in white liquid: Zachary Quinto

Props: M. Miggs

Stone, that was whey out of line.

*does the worm behind Stone to corner*

“I can smell your phaser.”

@Stone–I myself cannot.

Could you post some less-disturbing video? For instance, the movie Goebbels made of the Valkyrie conspirators getting executed?

I think our implication of ejaculation may be premature.

Yet another personal sex video leaked…these kids are getting uppity, what with all their “production value” and “lighting”.

I really owe him an apology for calling him gay.

No, wait. I owe gays an apology for calling him gay.

Tell the truth, that was just Chodin on a No Poon Afternoon

The term “Milk Beard” works on so many levels here.

In an effort to reinforce all assertions of homosexuality, Quinto’s publicist wants everyone to know that they used soy milk for the video.

But his skin will be so soft and glowy…

This is the original mishap that took place when they were trying to glue his fingers together so he could do the vulcan salute.

This is how you get a part in a JJ Abrams film. Even the Cloverfield monster had to go through it.

I’m still trying to figure out who this video is trying to target with its “sexiness”.

…Or what it’s trying to sell me, for that matter.

/advertising fail/

Stone, Fisher King?