05.21.09 BREAKING: WILL SMITH DID SOMETHING BORING
(Actors)
Will Smith’s production company has acquired the rights to The American Can, about an ex-marine who saved people when Hurricane Katrina raped New Orleans. (What? You can say “ravaged” but I can’t say “raped?”)
Standing a 6-foot-seven and 260 pounds, John Keller, the ex-Marine, lived in a five-story apartment building and after chasing some looters, emerged as the man in charge of the edifice and of the 244 residents, many of them elderly or handicapped. For five days, Keller, dubbed the “Can Man,” kept the building, isolated by 11 feet of water, safe from the chaos raging around the city. He also directed the eventual rescue operation from the building’s roof.
“This is the story of an everyman who became a hero,” said Columbia’s Doug Belgrad in a statement. “John Keller embodies everything about the American spirit: he is tough, smart, resourceful, funny, and not the type of guy who takes ‘no’ or ‘I can’t’ for an answer. That is the story we want to tell — in the moment of an American tragedy, when we are tested, we find that we have greater depth of spirit and strength than we ever knew.” [THR]
Yes, sometimes life tests you. Like before this guy started talking, I couldn’t imagine myself dismissively wanking to the story of a Hurricane Katrina hero and yet here I am, and wank I have. Anyway, still no word on whether Will Smith has plans to star or just produce. But damn, the guy really has things figured out. Turns out if you play the good guy in every movie for 15 years, people are so dumb they eventually start thinking you are that guy. Be afraid if he ever goes into politics, he’s basically the black Ronald Reagan.
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There are 27 comments about:
BREAKING: WILL SMITH DID SOMETHING BORING
Banner pic: The winner and runner-up of this year’s Whitest Man Alive competition.
They can cast Smiff as the hero, but the only way he’s gonna look 6′7″ and 260lb is if they cast Tom Cruise to play all 244 of his neighbors.
From that banner pic, I thought you were going to tell me that Cruise and Smith were preparing to star in a remake of ‘Over the Top’.
Tom Cruise is known as the In-the-Can Man.
The Can Man was Pauly’s prison nickname.
Sorry Donk.
The set is going to be a clusterfuck when Sean Penn shows up with shotgun.
Soundtrack provided by Katrina and the Waves.
Which floor are we on?
WELCOME TO FIFF!
Agent: Hey Will, what would you think of making a film about a retard that helped protect all the other fucking retards that didn’t get out of town before a goddamn hurricane blasted their ignorant asses, even though they knew it was coming a week ahead of time?
Smiff: I’m in so long as I get to take my shirt off and crack some one-liners.
In the bedroom I am referred to as the Can’t Man. As in can’t cum. Because I have erectile dysfunction. Thank you.
*opens can of sardines*
Hello ladies!
Come 3 hours from now, I will be the beer can man.
After visiting Europe and having to poop into a hole in the floor, I prefer the American can.
*does Running Man, stops*
Now, I’m the Ran Man.
I’d vote the shit out of will smiff fo presiden’t
I thought Martin Lawrence already did this with “Brotha Man from the fiff flo’”?
Breaking Will Smith is exactly what Tom Cruise is doing in the banner pic.
My LAN man smells like Doritos and EHarmony.
i bet one of the old guys is gonan be racist and hate smiff, only to help him out in the end and learn a valuable lesson
I don’t know, Soup.
They have bidets in Europe…..
George Hamilton is the Tan Man
I don’t know, Soup.
They have bidets in Europe…..
On topic, they have them in New Orleans, too. They’re delicious, especially with a hot Cafe Au Lait.
*waits patiently for Erswi’s disdain*
I’ve dealt with a Tran Man or two in my day.
“Will Smith does something boring”
7 Pounds?
Pursuit of Hapyness?
Legend of Bagger Vance? (hehe Vance…)
Hitch?
Made in America?
Six Degrees of Separation?
What? Which is it man?!
Pictured; Cruise blew his cover when one of his android appendages malfuctioned and sprouted from his shoulder during a press shoot.
New up.
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