05.13.09 DOES IMAX CEO KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS?!
IMAX co-CEO Richard Gelfond has issued a response to Aziz Ansari’s campaign against bullsh*t IMAX, once again using flawed logic to avoid admitting that wanting two different products to be differentiated in name is a pretty reasonable request. (Some background here: his original defense compared the IMAX brand to BMW - specifically their 7 series vs. their 3 series – saying “People don’t say ‘The 3 isn’t a real BMW because it’s smaller.’” Yeah, they also don’t cost the same, and people don’t pay for a 7-series only to get a 3, dumbass. You look like a Mormon, your argument is invalid.):
“IMAX did 15% of Star Trek’s total domestic box office in the whole country on only 138 screens… This is compared to the earlier releases of Watchmen, where we did 12% of the box office and Monsters and Aliens, where we did around 10%. Clearly a lot of people are going back to IMAX theaters… The overwhelming majority of comments on [Aziz Ansari]’s blog this morning, more than 90% of them, are vehemently disagreeing with him. And consumers are confirming this with their continued purchases of tickets.” [TheStreet via Vulture]
So… if a product is making money, that’s proof you don’t have to tell people what it is before they buy it? That’d be like if I paid your mom for sex and half the time got a handjob. And then you used a statistic about increased handjobs to prove that sex is the same thing as handjob. Guess what, my friend, it’s not. It’s not even good foreplay. Naturally, Aziz has already issued a response to Gelfond’s response:
WHAT A SURPRISE ANOTHER IMAX LIE. Who did those numbers? The same guy who measures your bullsh*t tiny IMAX screens???
Read the comments and you’ll find [Gelfond’s claim that 90% of the comments backed IMAX] is not the case and it’s definitely not the case on Twitter responses either. Many, many, many people have agreed with me in that they paid $5 extra expecting the full 72 ft IMAX screens and instead saw this new BULLSH*T IMAX regular screen which your company says is the same because its an “experience.” Well I “experienced” a huge 72 ft screen that was awesome when I saw a film at Bridge Cinema and then when I went to AMC Burbank, I “experienced” a piece of sh*t ripoff.
[…]
Now, here’s what I want do. I’m publicly challenging IMAX CEO Richard Gelfond to go on television and debate this issue with me. If you really think I’m in the wrong, LET’S DEBATE. [Azizisbored]
I think if Gelfond agrees to this debate, Aziz should just interrupt everything he says.
“You see, Aziz, IMAX did 15% of Star Trek’s total domest-”
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS??!!?*”
*it’s better if you say it in a retard voice. imagine this guy saying it.


There are 30 comments about:
DOES IMAX CEO KNOW WHAT TWITTER IS?!
No, Aziz. For the last time, spray the deodorant in the other direction.
A blowjobb would be a good response to this dilemma. Not the one with your mom. The little faggot spat these two are having.
* your mom too
“YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS! the overpriced concession stall.” - Gelfond the Grey
If you paid for a 7 Series and they gave you a 3 Series and you drove it around for a month before taking it back to complain, I’d call you a dumbass same as I’m calling Aziz. Fuck, I agree with the argument that they should call the smaller screens something else, like IMAX Lite or Crystal IMAX or some other stupid bullshit, but If you can’t tell the second you walk into the theater that the screen isn’t 70 fucking feet tall, then you are entitled to no refund, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Yes, Donk, but if you go to see a movie at a specific time and only realize once you’re inside the theater, it’s going to be at least another hour before you can go somewhere else to see the movie, and then it’s probably sold out. I would’ve watched it and demanded a refund afterwards too.
The Mighty One thinks if Gelfond agrees to this debate, Aziz should just show up with dynamite strapped to his chest and start screaming, “Jihad!”
I never like his character on House anyway.
Yeah, that’s right, I gave all my “D” to the ladies last night. Have to rest up for tonight, can’t spare any.
Gelfond? Aziz?
Are they Lord of The Rings characters?
Depends, Pauly … did you just step on my dick?
Me be da judge of dat, Guy. And me say WORD ‘EM UP.
I always use the family emergency excuse. It works well, I used it for The Spirit (after 15 mins) and for that piece of shit Costner serial killer flick (Mr. Wood? Mr. Dane Cook Needs to Die? I can’t remember)
I faced a similar backlash in college after I chose to wear a t-shirt that read ‘12 Inch Penis’ with an arrow pointing down.
Maybe you should have stopped wearing it backwards, Stoney…
Wait, is it still dick stepping if I didn’t get your joke cause I’ve never seen a Lord of the Rings movie?
I paid for Seven and got 3 Olive Cherry.
I didn’t complain.
Fek.
BOOSH!
You shouldn’t get a refund for avoiding being inconvenienced.
Oh man, I wish I was Pauly. Lucky bastard.
Gelfond is wearing his cornflower blue tie. That must have been on Tuesday.
Gelfond is using the Paul Blart defense!
I don’t think BULLSHIT Imax regular will sell as well as Imax. Same thing happened to Snickers when they started selling Snickers BULLSHIT.
Note: Snickers BULLSHIT was actually the same as Snickers just with BULLSHIT emblazoned on the wrapper. I don’t know what turned consumers off.
Randy Quaid ended the debate by quipping, “DO YOU KNOW THE SHITTER’S FULL?!?!”
I’d be with Donk if he asked for a full refund, He just asked for his extra $5 back, I think that’s a reasonable request. He didn’t get what he paid for.
The Indian with one tear in his eye broke his silence by stating, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT LITTER IS???”
Michael J. Fox was furious with Rush Limbaugh, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT JITTER IS???”
Chris Brown was overheard in the background screaming “DO YOU KNOW WHAT HIT HER IS?!?”
I can’t boycott IMAX, Aziz. I’m brand loyal.
*takes sip from can of Crystal Pepsi*
Spock lectures Kirk on treatise, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT KHITOMER IS???”
Aziz! Light!
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