OH BOY, MORE TALKING!
05.13.09
Inside this box is a tube of freakishly creaseless forehead creme. I stole it from Nic Cage while he was doing Tai Chi.
The problem with Da Vinci Code/Angels & Demons is that every five minutes, one of the characters pauses to recite the Wikipedia summary of some little-known ancient or scientific phenomenon. It’s like they were trying to figure out how to work that stuff into the script but were short on time, so they just decided to have the characters talk about it while acting super serious. “But you don’t mean… antimatter!” “Yes, antimatter. First discovered in 1955 by German radiologist….”
Anyway, they just released this “Hypertrailer,” (watch it below) which is kind of like pop-up video, where every few seconds a character will be highlighted and you can click through to see more videos about that character or plot point. It’s a great idea, because what these movies really needed was more backstory.
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We’ve had hypertrailer technology for years. Of course, the increased activity levels of the occupants make it pretty easy for the cops to spot those meth labs.
If you roll over Tom Cruise’s character it plays a two minute clip of The Burbs.
Click here to see the pope taking a shit
This gargoyle was modeled after Ron Howard’s ballskin stretched over a Dunny figurine.
I just want to see Ayelet Zurer’s tits.
Meanwhile, Courtney Cox keeps getting smaller and meaner looking.
Dammit! All they need is Heart to summon Captain Planet but its wielder is too busy complaining about his size problems.
veBru, does it happen in the woods?
Not really a comment on the film but it’s got to be hard to make a good film out of terrible books. I don’t want to seem like I’m just jumping on the bandwagon of dan brown hating but Da vinci code and angels and demons and fucking terrible books. really really poorly written. Although if i had his money I wouldn’t mind if I was talentless.
You mean all the other trailers I’ve been watching aren’t hypertrailers? I want a refund.
affleck, I’m with you there- Da Vinci code was mediocre at best, but Angels and Demons was fuckin’ terrible
If you try following the signs in my neighborhood, you always end up at foreclosures or rental properties with minorities.
The one wikipedia article the characters won’t qoute is dignity.
*Pop!*
Tom Hanks used to be a respectable actor!
Antimatter is a small gripe that an Italian mother brings up just before she lets loose a tirade about what’s really bothering her.
“Amy Winehouse is a Hyper Trailer.”
“A Hyper Trailer?”
“Yes, a Hyper Trailer. A special type of police hound injected with drugs and let loose on the city to find the source.”
“illuminati” – When you turn the lights on after sex and realize your date is a natural light can.
I went to school with this kid who had terrible A.D.D. It ran in his family, who were unfortunately unable to afford proper medication. They lived in a hypertrailer.
How did they manage to cast a vapid, pseudo-intellectual, vacuous-eye cunt that so closely resembles the fucking idiots that is their target audience?
Vince: “Fangsters, I don’t get it…”
Stone: “Yes, Fangsters. You’ll recall, months ago there was a thread about…”
You guys didn’t like the books? Perhaps you’d be interested in this Twilight tome I refuse to finish…
… or maybe a stack of “graphic novels”.
Tom Hanks is following the Nic Cage career path. Take a good back catalogue, add increasingly shitier movies for increasingly bigger pay checks. Store money if increasingly large forehead.
Al, you got yourself into this Twilight reading mess. Don’t try to pawn it off on us.