04.16.09 WOODY ALLEN COMPLAINS OF HARASSMENT
What a coincidence, I used to play Pop Warner with a guy we called Tank Thong.
Backstory: Last year, American Apparel used Woody Allen’s picture in an ad without permission. Allen sued them for $10 mil. American Apparel, no doubt aware that they don’t have much of a case, used a novel “we can’t damage his reputation because people already think he’s a pervert defense,” most likely more as a deterrent for Allen than as an actual defense. It’s kind of like trying to get a rape victim to drop the charges by threatening to devote all your energies to proving she’s a slut by calling to the stand all the dudes she’s banged. Or saying, “I would never rape her – she’s ugly.” Not surprisingly, Allen is now accusing American Apparel of harassment.
In papers filed Wednesday by his lawyers, the 73-year-old Allen said American Apparel Inc. went too far in requesting information about his family life, personal finances and career.
The new court papers said American Apparel has “adopted a `scorched earth’ approach,” issuing broad document requests and subpoenas to many people close to him, including his sister.
Allen’s lawyers said the company was seeking to “tarnish Mr. Allen’s reputation a second time” and called it a “despicable effort to intimate” him.
Allen also said ads shown to him by American apparel, including his rabbi ad, “have a sleazy quality to them” and were “not classy.”
This is a tough case. You clearly can’t use someone’s image without their permission in your advertising. On the other hand, a picture of Woody Allen dressed like a Hasidic Jew is definitely not worth $10 million. I think the judge should take a page from Solomon, and give both parties swords, and whoever can cut a baby in half the fastest wins. Because the bible says so, you see.
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There are 23 comments about:
WOODY ALLEN COMPLAINS OF HARASSMENT
If I were trying to intimidate Woody Allen, I’d probably just do it face-to-face. He practically begs to have his lunch money taken.
The only way I could root one way harder in this case is if American Apparel aligned themselves with Fox Studios suddenly.
That gentelmen is one superior ass, and that chick’s can is nice as well.
The banner pic is clearly libelous as well. That young woman is way too old for Woody to be looking at her ass.
Get a
jobreal spokesman you dirty hippies.Well, after the last post and this one, I’m about jerked dry.
Here’s an investment tip – go to American Apparel and buy all the garbage hipster crap you can afford. After it becomes “Allen Apparel”, it’ll be nothing but tan slacks, sandals, and black socks. You can then sell your garbage hipster crap at top dollar.
*looks at his Tank Thong*
Great, now I have to change!
For the record:
THAT is an ASS!
That’s the outfit Woody likes Soon Yi to wear whenever they play “Tienenman Square.”
Tank Thongs are made from cotton with a very high tread count.
Woody to Soon Yi about Mia: Herassmeant nothing to me. Now, tickle my balls and call me daddy.
I think the judge should take a page from Solomon, and give both parties swords, and whoever can cut a baby in half the fastest wins.
Well Woody wouldn’t cut it in half. Not unless he can keep the half he can have sex with.
Woody drove a stake between Soon Yi and her adoptive mother by convincing her that Mia’s middle name was “Jolly Good” and getting her to sing it out loud constantly.
Banner Pic: Is that Michelle Rodriguez’s Fast and FuriASS?
After burrito night it’s gonna be a stank thong.
Tank Thong is the sassy purple female transformer right?
Janitor #1: I think he’s perverted enough to fuck a dolphin.
Janitor #2: Woody?
Janitor #1: I just told you I think he would.
After a review of other American Apparel ads, Woody Allen’s legal team has announced they will be going with the ‘Butterface’ defense.
Tank thongs go perfectly with car bras.
Ironically, Soon-Yi could be heard whispering ‘Tank Thong’ in her lispy, broken English every time Woody would leave for work.
Woody’s just mad since the Tank Thong was his idea for a brand of adolescent girls nighties.
I thought a “Tank Thong” was some kind of heavily armored sandal.
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