What a coincidence, I used to play Pop Warner with a guy we called Tank Thong.
Backstory: Last year, American Apparel used Woody Allen’s picture in an ad without permission. Allen sued them for $10 mil. American Apparel, no doubt aware that they don’t have much of a case, used a novel “we can’t damage his reputation because people already think he’s a pervert defense,” most likely more as a deterrent for Allen than as an actual defense. It’s kind of like trying to get a rape victim to drop the charges by threatening to devote all your energies to proving she’s a slut by calling to the stand all the dudes she’s banged. Or saying, “I would never rape her – she’s ugly.” Not surprisingly, Allen is now accusing American Apparel of harassment.
In papers filed Wednesday by his lawyers, the 73-year-old Allen said American Apparel Inc. went too far in requesting information about his family life, personal finances and career.
The new court papers said American Apparel has “adopted a `scorched earth’ approach,” issuing broad document requests and subpoenas to many people close to him, including his sister.
Allen’s lawyers said the company was seeking to “tarnish Mr. Allen’s reputation a second time” and called it a “despicable effort to intimate” him.
Allen also said ads shown to him by American apparel, including his rabbi ad, “have a sleazy quality to them” and were “not classy.”
This is a tough case. You clearly can’t use someone’s image without their permission in your advertising. On the other hand, a picture of Woody Allen dressed like a Hasidic Jew is definitely not worth $10 million. I think the judge should take a page from Solomon, and give both parties swords, and whoever can cut a baby in half the fastest wins. Because the bible says so, you see.