04.24.09 WKD PREV: OBSESSED WITH FIGHTING THE EARTH
Opening this weekend:
My pick:
Earth – James Earl Jones narrating a nature documentary? Yes, please. The only thing that could make this better is Will Smith yelling “Welcome da Earff!” during the opening credits.
Fighting – As long as we’re doing Will Smith references today, I’d love to use the flashy thing from Men in Black and set it to the time before Hollywood producers discovered MMA. The reviews aren’t nearly as bad as you’d expect, but I’d still rather get punched in the face than see this. “Seems like I been fighting all my life…” Funny, seems like I’ve heard that line 1000 times.
Obsessed – Ali Larter tries to steal Stringer Bell from Beyoncé. Sorry, man, you’ll always be Stringer Bell to me. You’re a decent actor and all, it’s just that Idris Elba sounds more like a word scramble than a name.
The Informers – Boobies and Bret Easton Ellis and Mickey Rourke? This movie will licky boom boom down! Seriously though, the buzz out of Sundance was that this was so bad that people were turning to each other in disbelief during the screening. Kinda like ladies when I’m making love to them, but for opposite reasons.
Tyson – Possibly my favorite trailer voiceover ever: “Tho you know I come from a real poverty thtwucken area, so when I came to live with Cus D’Amato, they live in a 14-room Victorian mansion. And when I first come there, I said, ‘Wow, I could really rob these white muf-ckas.’” What a coincidence, those were my first words as a child.
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There are 18 comments about:
WKD PREV: OBSESSED WITH FIGHTING THE EARTH
Because I can’t hink of anything funny I’d just like to comment the, though I loved Planet Earth and get sucked into it every time I stumble across an episode…
…who the fuck ever thought that Sigoureniey Weaver could narrate worth a shit? Seriously, after the first day of loops didn’t the directors/producers listen and think, “Uh, Nooooooo, not gonna work.” Jim Carey as Firemarshall Bill would have been better.
Oh and regarding the ‘Related Posts,’
AIDS isn’t worse than Battlefield Earth.
Idris Elba sounds more like a word scramble than a name.
Didn’t they ditch Napoleon at the Idris of Elba?
If you would like to meet Mike Tyson simply punch in 007-373-5963 into your cell phone. You’ll appear directly in front of him and he’ll make you love him in exactly 6 seconds.
The brother’s got presence. Am lucky to be watching The Wire for the first time – just about to start on series 3 – and was wondering when Hollywood would call on on Elba.
*i am this fucking close to a pun using “booty in the Idris of the Beyonce” Just can’t get it right. So it goes.
FIST!!!!!!
I hope it’s still cool to do that.
Is it just me, or does Terrence Howard seem like the type of guy who would cross his legs, like, all the way?
I would see the fuck out of Fighting if Terrence Howard wrote his own dialogue when he mentored Tatum Chan.
“Seems like I been fighting my whole life. But you know what I can’t fight? This feeling, anymore.”
“We act by being. Atoms combine to form molecules, and dancing beCOMES music. And music dance, man. And music dance.”
“[long pause]Good talk. I’m going to go . . . fight a guy.”
Max, I would sex that movie.
We need to sign on Terrence for the Atari Trilogy and then film all his scenes Bowfinger style. And tell Statham ahead of time to always stay in character. Sundance here we come.
I’d prefer to watch Terence ‘n’ Tatum in Fighting Tyson.
In fact, I’d gladly give a chunk of my ear to see that.
Apparently Dreamworks aren’t the only people who forgot about The Soloist this weekend. Come in now Vince!
I mean, it’s Jaime Foxx playing a musical prodigy based on a true — ohhhhhh I seeeeee…
Carry on.
Michael Bay: “Wow. I could really rob these white mutha….. BOOOOOOOOM.”
Wow, Keets. You got me. I was supposed to put that in there…
Seems like I been ‘bating all my life.
@lyDa–and that’s why they call you The Soloist.
Seems like I been fighting all my wife.
–Mel Gibson
I’m actually pretty stoked for Fighting. It’s a complete, unabashed rip-off of Gladiator. Two things came from that movie: 1) We never heard from James Marshall again and 2) Cuba Gooding, Jr. went on to make Snow Dogs. Fuck you, Tatum Channing and fuck you Terrance Howard.
** wipes tear from eye, bows down before Burnsy
**
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