Behold, the trailer for Samurai Princess, from Tokyo Gore Police writer Kengo Kaji. You may remember TGP as the trailer that made penis noses and alligator-mouth vaginas hip again. Neither does Samurai Princess disappoint in the nightmarish gore department (which I believe is actually a division of Japanese parliament).
There’s much to love, but my favorite part comes at the 1:04 mark, when I actually wondered, Hmm, does this count as NSFW? I mean, she’s naked, but you can’t see her nipples because her boobs have been chewed off. I think that counts as SFW. I mean, she’s basically wearing a gore bikini. I’ve since added the work safeness of a gore bikini to my questions to meditate on, right between the sound of one hand clapping and a tree falling in an empty forest. I like the new one the best because it gives me a boner.


What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
The Bataan Death March?
I can give you the recording of the sound of one hand fapping if that would help your meditation.
*slow clap for Rock*
That’s the joke I was looking for. Whackety Schmackety kudos.
she’s basically wearing a gore bikini.
Not to be confused with a Gore bikini, which is made from eco-friendly, recycled campaign fliers.
This is the Japanese version of Mulan.
If you read Kengo Kaji’s dream journal out loud the Ninth Gate opens.
No bug costumes? I’ll have to pass.
Gore bikini work-safeness:
Librarian: NSFW
Butcher: SFW
Congressman: SFW
PETA Organizer: NSFW
Movie Blogger: N/A (It’s not working if you’re not wearing pants.)
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Who do you think you are? An American Apparel defense attorney?
I have been working on my gore bikini body for the summertime.
Call me, boys!
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
An evening with George Takei?
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Roger Ebert’s toilet on Tempura night?
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Ninja Gaiden?
I loved the Garden Weasel Foot!
The nightmarish Gore Vidal department died with William F. Buckley.
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Mr. Roboto’s pimp hand?
The nightmarish Gore Verbinski department is planned a fourth Pirates of the Carribean installment.
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Ms Godzilla’s menses?
a tree falling in an empty forest
This is also a metaphor for sex with Madonna.
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
My 15th Birthday?
The nightmarish Gore Vidal estate is planning to release his long lost work exploring the latent homosexuality of zombies.
WHAT’S BLOODY, NIGHTMARISH, AND JAPANESE?
A list of my ex-girlfriends?
What’s bloody, nightmarish, and Japanese?
Rita Repulsa’s colonoscopy?