You can already buy 11 hours worth of Lord of the Rings, not including making-ofs or special features. But Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro still have a whole other book to film, and you better believe they’re gonna milk those hairy homoerotic midgets for all they’re worth. Two more movies worth, to be exact. Said director Del Toro to Empire magazine…
“We’ve decided to have The Hobbit span the two movies, including the White Council and the comings and goings of Gandalf to Dol Guldur.”
The White Council AND the coming and goings of Gandalf to Dol Guldur? In two movies??!! That’s worth at least a 10-part miniseries! This is a travesty! Adds producer Jackson:
“We decided it would be a mistake to try to cram everything into one movie. The essential brief was to do The Hobbit, and it allows us to make The Hobbit in a little more style, if you like, of the trilogy.”
Well I just hope they’ll add a few weeks worth of extra footage for the DVD. The great thing about Lord of the Rings is that the bad guys are evil and the good guys are good, but they’re always fighting! And it’s all like, whoa, who’s gonna win! I mean, I could watch that forever. Yay, here comes another epilogue!


So the epic final battle is between the “White Council” and the NAACP?
Dol Goldur is the red light district in Amsterdam, right?
you better believe they’re gonna milk the homoerotic little person action for all it’s worth
Who knew it even had nipples?
Hello, spoiler alert. DAMMIT Vince!
Good to see Tenacious D getting back together again.
…they’re gonna milk the homoerotic little person action for all it’s worth…
At least enough to make Jackson and Del Toro silmarillionaires.
*throws long tiny braids back over shoulder where they cascade down my arrow holder thingy*
I see I have reached the comments of FilmDrunkor. Watch yourself here my little friend or your rectum will bleed rivers of orc tainted blood.
*Stares off into distance*
Did those two men make a Zach Galifinakas?
If the hobbit had been normal-sized, it would be easy to cram it all into one movie, but it takes for-fucking EVER for him to walk from one place to another.
Homoerotic little person action: short and sweet.
*Trying to Quell this Nerd Boner At Work*
*looks at picture* OK, that did it.
Homoerotic little person action tends to get a little sticky, man.
Homoerotic little person action:
This little piggy went wee wee-wee all the way home.
Banner Pic: The crew loves it when they sing “We’re bringing husky back…”
So,you’re saying a homoerotic hobbit is a little gay? What, you mean like in prison? Or camp?
That shirt is Incredibad
It could be worse. They could be doing a remake of The Trilogy.
Jackson seems to be addicted to Tolkien–he can’t kick the hobbit.
/an extra Tolk in honor of 420
The Future Baggins.
Hey, important shit happens at Dol Guldur!!!
*mounts Gandalf’s staff Quidditch-style, “flies” around the mess hall making wanking motions and screaming “LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!”*
Eat that you orc-fuckers!
Phew, He had to do something to butch up this thread!
Pictured: Taco day at the Iowa City food bank (just happens to also be clean needle exchange day)
When you have to stand on phone books to get your waist high enough to drop your balls onto your boyfriend’s whiskered chin, you’re Frodo Baggins’n him.
I’ll say this, The Hobbit was the best of the books.
I agree with the thumb.
I agree with the thumb.
Great day for me to change my name…
:(
“I’ll say this, The Hobbit was the best of the books.”
Wow, I just came in here to say that exact thing. When I was a kid, The Hobbit was the only one I was able to get all the way through.