“Hiiighwaaaay tooo the… DAAANGER ZONE!! (*mouth guitar*)”
The U.K.’s Daily Mail published an early review of JJ Abrams’ Star Trek, which most of us won’t get to see until May 8th. Here’s what the dirty Limey prick (I’m assuming) thought of it:
“…Not only by far the best of the 11 Star Trek movies, it must rank as the outstanding prequel of all time.
[...] This is space opera on a mythic scale, and it’s stirring stuff. …Fans of the original series will not be disappointed. Throughout, there’s just the right degree of reverence for the original, coupled with an attractive ability to poke fun at it.
…a treat for the eyes and ears.”
Clearly, this guy liked it. But he also seems like kind of a douche. He loved that slimey puff piece Slumdog Millionaire and said of Watchmen “This despicable, unwatchable trash will find an audience among sad sociopaths,” (all while maintaining a rigid upper lip, I’m sure). In any case, aside from the terrifyingly metrosexual new Spock, I remain cautiously optimistic. Meanwhile, A former lover of mine was equally enthusiastic about my lovemaking, calling my penis, “An amuse-bouche for the vagina.” That’s good, right?
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Gerald Posner HATES Klingons.
*sobs*
Why do they get to be so god damned good looking?!?
WHY?!?!
Mouth guitar amuse bouche?
“A treat for the eyes and ears” is something I promise all the kids who get into our van.
the outstanding prequel of all time
IT PREDATES TIME?
He’s obviously never seen The Chronicles of Riddick.
Pictured:
A D-Bag with a Seabag.
Fans of the original series will not be disappointed
They don’t have Trekkie Conventions in the UK? This guy has no fucking idea how obsessed those people can be.
It would be like telling a retard that their old, slobber encrusted, booger caked wooby is okay, but the snuggie is better because it’s new.
Bottom line, someone’s losing a limb for talking that kind of shit.
“An amuse-bouche for the vagina.”
That means it prepares her for all the other dudes she’s going to be fucking as the main course.
BOUCHE.
This is space opera on a mythic scale
OOOOOOKLAHOMA! The final frontier…
I think you could’ve just said ‘bouche’ without explaining my joke first, but…
“An amuse-bouche for the vagina.”
Stink Fingerling Potatoes?
Amuse-bushe is what my French girlfriend ordered me to do.
Fine, it was a girlfriend experience. Close enough, jerks.
An amuse-douche is when your Mom just sprays some feminine deodorant on her snootch before I get there.
But I like to explain things, Vince. Like when I explain to your mother what a donkey punch is, after she regains consciousness.
BOUCHE.
“This is space opera on a mythic scale”
Demographic math: Opera + myth + scale = fat guys who’ve never kissed a girl, only in part because they’re gay. Space = where they keep their action figures.
@boPa–Amused. Touche.
Star Trek space opera: it’s not over till the fat lady Klings.
Vince, you do get more than Bravo on that cable box you bought from the Nigerians on 56th street, right?
Star Trek space oprea: Alzo Spock Zarathustra
Stone, I’m gonna be honest here, I will watch pretty much any fucking show that involves food. It’s a sickness.
(except Rachel Ray – that bitch’s voice makes me want to stab myself)
New up! Yummo!