STALLONE IS LOOKING HELLA SWOLL, BRO
04.14.09
62-year-old Sylvester Stallone was looking pretty veiny and beefcake on the set of The Expendables the other day. Which is actually a common side effect of the treatment he’s receiving for oversized testicles from his Mexican internet doctor, Umberto. Umberto is professional, discreet, and his prices are loco!
[via ComingSoon]
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He’s a Mexican Internet doctor who can give prescriptions in Canada.
He’s a real Joser.
Holy shit! I’ve seen this on Scanners his arms are about to explode! Duck!
[looks at Sly's arms, looks at dick, looks back at Sly's arms]
So, my dicks been doing steroids all this time and not telling me? [starts beating dick] Bad dick! BAAAAD!
CARPAL TUNNNELLLL!!!!!
For Umberto, killing’s as easy as breathin’.
(He’s not a very good doctor, you see.)
Is that Andy Garcia’s brother on his side?
I AM THE AWWWWW, WHO FARTED?
Umberto is a wetquack.
Sly shoots with his right hand, but bowls with his left.
Judo know what kind of medicine I give you?
Pauly: Hey Umby, you got anything that’ll keep my cock hard and looking like Sly Stallone’s arms?
Umberto: Cialis
Pauly: Did you just call me “Alice”?
Bandages? We don’t need no steenkin’ bandages.
Kudos to him for maintaining an amazing physique, but he looks nightmarishly radioactive or something now. Between all the roids and botox, at what point is he classed as no longer human?
While visiting his Mexican doctor, Sly took time to film another upcoming movie, Tango and Dinero.
I teach the Veiny Beefcake at my hump-day jazzersize class.
I actually made that face this morning. A poo-poo was coming out sideways.
Al, it happened sometime around The Assasins or The Specialist or Get Carter or Raw Deal or…
…no no, that’s when I realized Hollywood needed to go fuck itself. My bad.
Pic:
Gorillas in the Mist 2
Sly is making my, “I just stepped in dogshit bare footed!” face.
Pic:
Stallone on the way to shoot his kid after a good workout.
Why go to Mexico? Lindsay Lohan treats my oversized testicles.
I…don’t…know…what that meant.
The Mighty Feklahr’s Mexican pharmacist provides Him marijuana for medicinal purposes only.
Okay, who told Sly Scott Siegel got busted?
“Excuse me sweaty old Italian man, I’m lost and need directions.”
*Sly points to forearm* “Uhhhh, yeah, you’re heyah and you want to take dis road heyah and get back on ta dis highway…hold on, lemme do a couple reps…..okay, see it now?”
Banner pic:
Sly loses his butt cherry to a midget with a dildo strapped to his forehead.
Banner Pic: FFFFFRRRRAAAAAANNNNNNKKKKKKK!!!! THAT’S MY CHOCODILE!!!!
Wow. He looks like he’s having a stroke.