04.24.09 RICHARD DREYFUSS JOINS ‘PIRANHA 3-D’

We’re gonna need a bigger actor.

Richard Dreyfus Joins__________________

A) Piranha 3D.
B) AA (Again).
C) Scientology.
D) His penis with another man’s ass.

Richard Dreyfuss should play the Piranha since he is the real Maneater.

Some say Dreyfuss should have stopped after “Inserts,” where he plays a p*orn movie director.

Agent: “Hi, Richard - I have a script you may want to re…”

RD: “DOES IT INVOLVE FISH?!?!?”

Agent: “Um, well, yes. It’s a rema…”

RD: “I’LL TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Banner pic: I FUCKING LOVE THE SMELL OF MY OWN FARTS!!!

Roy Scheider wouldn’t be caught dead in this film.

Richard Dreyfuss was a little disappointed when he found out the fish isn’t a rapist.

He says he has to do the movie. I guess you could call it Mr. Holland’s Onus.

With Dreyfuss on board, they’re gonna rename it What About Bobbin?

I’LL TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Richard Dreyfuss often spends his Friday Nights screaming this in West Hollywood.

Panda, Panda, Panda. You missed the, um, boat there.

I FUCKING LOVE SEA MEN!!!!!!!!

*please note that I actually really like Richard Dreyfuss, and feel slightly uncomfortable implying that he likes semen. Even if he does. That doesn’t bother me at all. In short, Rich, if you’re reading this, call me.

I’m not saying Richard Dreyfuss is gay or anything but eating another man’s flesh is what he considers second base.

Dan Rosen’s sister doesn’t like Richard Dreyfuss.

Stone Soup: You should feel more uncomfortable for getting his hopes up.

Dreyfuss’ next picture is about a giant man-eating fish who somehow adapts to breathing air and killing people on shore. The Goodbye Gil, coming Christmas 2009.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is what Dreyfuss calls his weekly three way circle jerk with his pool boys.

I heard Dreyfuss is a pen-pal of one of the members of U2. Yep, that’s right. Every time they go on tour, he gets postcards from The Edge.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is what Dreyfuss calls his weekly three way circle jerk with his pool boys.

Close, he calls it Close Encounters with the Third World.

Richard Dreyfuss has heard all your crappy puns about his crappy movies, and his philosophy has always been: “Let It Ride.”

Mind you, that guy’s a little Lost In Yonkers … gnomesuggestingwithmysequenceofwords?

The discovery of Dreyfuss being gay gives one pause about the titles of his previous films…Nuts, Jaws, Insert, Let it Ride, and of course Mr. Holland’s Open Asshole. Okay You got me. Its called Inserts not Insert.

Man, whatever happened to Jenna Elfman? Her career seemed so promising with “Dharma and Greg” followed by “Looney Tunes” with Brendan Frasier…I am at a loss of how it went wrong. If only she could get a CSI to star in, then it would be all good.