Porn legend Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her home outside Santa Clarita last night, with the cause of death yet to be determined.
Chambers broke into the porn industry by appearing in the 1972 film “Behind the Green Door,” which was the first widely released pornographic film in the United States. Her appearance in the film cost the then-aspiring model and actress her job as Procter & Gamble’s Ivory Snow girl, appearing on the soapbox with a baby and the caption “99 & 44/100% pure.” [NBC-LA]
Chambers, who was initially ambivalent about starring in Behind the Green Door, asked Artie and Jim Mitchell for a $25,000 salary and a percentage of the gross, never expecting they’d agree. After filming concluded, she informed them that she was “the Ivory Snow Girl”; the Mitchells capitalized on this by billing her as the “99 and 44/100% pure” girl.
She was noted for her enthusiastic performances of deep throat, anal, lesbian, interracial, extreme bukkake, and double or triple penetration scenes. She was one of the first female stars to shave her pubic hair, a practice now routine for porn actresses. …she was supposedly one of the few actresses that could fully deepthroat John Holmes’ penis. [Wiki]
So, uh, they probably won’t put that on her tombstone. Nonetheless, a true pioneer, she will be missed. By the way, what’s “extreme bukkake”? Is that like when you do it on a dirtbike? Intense.
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She was one of the first female stars to shave her pubic hair, a practice now routine for porn actresses.
How can this be? She had the the greatest bush!
Extreme bukkake? Lince, you never been to a Magic:The Gathering tournament, have you?
When they buried her, the dirt was shoveled only on the top of the casket.
It would be really ironic if she choked to death on hot dog slices!
This doesn’t mean she’s going to stop having wild sex, does it?
It’s a sad day for Mature Porn.
This will not be the first time she’s been CREAMated.
There is no amount of Ivory Soap that could wash the cum remnants of this bitches skin.
I’m assuming she used to Ivory Soap for her golden showers.
Lots of people were confused at the initial headline that read MARILYN CHAMBERS SIX FEET DEEP. People just figured they were stating a fact.
It’s a shame she only made it to 56. I thought for sure she could fit 60.
*mourners go to the wake to see her in her casket*
Mourner: No, this isn’t right, she just doesn’t look natural
*Funeral home director puts his dick in her mouth*
Mourner: There you go, thanks.
Now she’s up in heaven getting DP’d by Moses & Abe Lincoln.
And the phrase fully deepthroat John Holmes’ penis becomes searchable on Wiki. Truly a banner day.
If she would have held on for 13 more years she would have died at the perfect porn age.
*Spills 40oz onto the floor
*Zips pants back up
Bukkake is the art of hundreds of men cumming on a chic’s face. Or as they call it in the industry…The Full Hilton.
Unknown causes? She’s had more semen flow through her than the Panama Canal.
She was supposedly one of the few actresses that could fully deepthroat John Holmes’ penis
Hell, she was old enough to toss the salad of Sherlock Holmes.
Too bad, she told the best bedtime stories.
Extreme Bukkake was popular in the ’90s when Gary Cherone found himself out of work.
I think the Ivory Snowgirl was into Snowballing.
“Ivory Snow” in rap circles is redundant.
A licky boom-boom down.
Her will states that she wanted to make one more film post-mortem with the also deceased Don Knotts, entitled “The Ghost That Choked on Mr. Chicken’s Chicken”
The good news is that Chambers’ body is well-accustomed to having millions of tiny things crawling all over it.
Fucking A Stone… BRB.
Extreme bukkake is when you squirt a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce up your dickhole and try to get it in her eye when you nut.
I just wish her obituary didn’t read like Benjamin Franklin’s.
Quadruple penetration happened during her autopsy.
Wasn’t Monty Hall in ‘Behind the Green Door’?
They chose to go for what was in the box.
Those two dudes in the background are wondering whose Mom is in their Dorm laundry room licking a box of Ivory Snow and riding the machines.
Marilyn’s chambers were all full of ejaculum.
I understand she was never charged for the near-death accident of two Japanese men racing across the United States in a heavily modified Honda after they viewed her first film on a small monitor in the car.
Marilyn used to take a stiff one in the box, and now she is the stiff one in a box!
Dude #1: What’s up with Marilyn?
Dude #2: Pine box.
Dude #1: She’s dreaming of doing a another lez scene?
Like an old battleship, they should try to preserve her and give tours.
Marilyn used to make men get hard-now it’s her turn!
In her honour the 21 gun salute is going to involve 7 men shooting their load over her coffin. None of her old co-stars, alas, what with them all being dead.
+1 to Stone for the all too rare Cannonball Run ref.
Fuck noMo, I ran around in circles trying for the box/hole/stiff joke and settled on that illiterate piece only to step on your… what, what did I step on? Boob?
All of Marilyn’s fans are in moaning. :(
Her autopsy revealed that she could have been saved if only somebody knew the Heimlich Maneuver. Or, if the guy would have just pulled out.
Marilyn Chambers was so old, she referred to the Missionary Position as “The Crusade Position”.
A sad day indeed. I’ll be flying my boner at half mast.
So Donk, what you are saying is, she died of… Deep Veiny Throbosis?
*wipes scuffmark off boob*
New Up!
In honor of Marilyn’s generous contributions my cock will be flying at half mast today.
So what then? Fuck me for not realizing there was a second comments page? Fine.
Fuck me.
When the director asked Marilyn if she was okay with double penetration, she replied, “Oh sure, Ivory done that.”