Given that Oceans is a nature documentary from some of the same people who did Planet Earth – along with The Wire, probably the best show ever put on television – it’s annoying that Disney (through their revived Disneynature initiative) spends more than half the trailer congratulating themselves and showing old footage of Walt Disney. We get it, you old nazi, you’re great, now shut up and show us a shark eating a seal in slow motion.
[attaching the Bird of Paradise mating scene from Planet Earth after the jump, because it's one of the coolest damn things ever filmed]
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Jesus, whatever happened to just showing up with a worm, or if you’re a pigeon – and i believe some of you are – a chip?
I like to think that the woman who narrates is actually Mother Nature herself.
I prefer to call this Planet Earff.
You know what that bird of paradise video needs? The theme music from Seinfeld.
Looks like Morgan Freeman’s wife took half his narrating work in the divorce.
Roy needs to come clean and just state the obvious — Walt liked to watch animals fuck.
Disney is also the same company that used to release nature videos that gave false impressions like that lemmings throw themselves off cliffs to control their own population and that Panda Bears don’t fart opium.
Walt liked to watch animals fuck.
And this will all be made clear when the original sketches of Chip and Dale are released.
“After you.”
“Oh, no, after you.”
“By all means, you first. On my chest.”
1st picture, bottom row:
Pauly and Chodin out for an afternoon stroll.
I think we all know which one is Chodin.
This is a better mating ritual:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-wtO7pjJKk
Only hipsters puff out their chests and show their scarfs to snatch up the ladies.
The picture on the far right isn’t that impressive. I could do that with forced perspective and a pickle.
The Mighty Feklahr presents a story of Buddha.
The monk climbed the mountain near the ocean to find Buddha. When he got to the top to see the Buddha there he asked, “Good Buddha, if they are called Sperm Whales, what do they ejaculate?”
He replied, “Yes!”
This moment of zen has been brought to you by Forshak Productions in conjunction with Dizzynature.
Hmm…if we don’t have any Buddhist literates around here, that post just isn’t going to seem as funny as it should…
My 9yr old daughter saw this on a class field trip yesterday, here is her official review:
“Ohmygod Daddy, it was sooooo cool! But it was kinda sad too because some of the animals DIED!”
Oh… spoiler alert, I guess.
Spoiler alert: New Bruck-up
What is it about dancing giant smiley face birds that makes me want to do it so bad?!? Eat chicken that is.