My Sister’s Keeper stars Abigail Breslin as a girl “genetically conceived” by her parents Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric to provide organs for her cancer-afflicted sister. From the director of The Notebook, My Sister’s Keeper is a film about friendship, family, love, and most of all, cancer. Roger Ebert says, “I cried so hard I queefed a bon bon.” Ben Lyons called it “heartwarming, homey.”
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*reads post, slides bottle of Cinnamon schnapps to Donk*
It’s heartwarming, hommie.
Holy shit. I honestly didn’t think Cameron Diaz could look any uglier. Touche, make up artists.
Well, there goes my remission.
There’s Something About Baldy
My Other Sister’s Keeper said that if she has to clean up a 24 year old’s diaper one more time, that retard is going to wish she had cancer.
Ugh, The Mighty Feklahr needs this dramatic, pseudo-scientific nonsense about as much as He needs His wife to birth Him a half-Romulan heir.
Listen, when Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to stop carrying guns around in front of a camera, Hollywood needed to just fucking quit. Why? Movies like this is why.
I love my soon-to-be-dead bald daughter.
WHO WANTS TO HAVE A GOOD ‘DIE ALREADY!’?
Cameron Diaz does not have a good bald-person head. She looks like the daughter in Coneheads.
The twist ending? She dies of Alzheimer’s before the cancer can take her.
This is nowhere even close to my idea of “entertainment”*.
*it should involve jello. And pillow fights.
I’m my sister’s trapper-keeper. That’s why I got this sweet purple and pink unicorn tattoo.
Cameron: “For the last time, I am not pulling your GD finger.”
I’ve got an organ I can provide to that little hairless minx, heh heh.
*drops pants*
Coming soon, My Daughters Keeper: The Josef Fritzl Story
Billy Corgan is pumped about his first stand-in role.
My favorite part of “The Notebook” was when The Goose laid down in the road. It was shortly followed by my least favorite part, when he wasn’t crushed by a speeding rape van, the driver getting out doing the electric slide on his remains, all before abducting Rachel McAdams.
In the sequel, the girl is kinapped, but rescued after an amber alert. The people responsible for getting her home safely then get cancer and the loving parents decide to carry twins for organ harvesting to save them both in My Sister’s Finders Keepers.
Why does she have a boy’s name, anyway?
“Ah, yes, well, you were genetically conceived to provide organs for your sister. So hand over that pancreas, girl! Might as well give us the kidneys while you’re at it, to save time.”
Donk, nice.
Is Robert Ebert the retarded brother of Roger?
Or is he that Cajun movie reviewer whose name is pronounced “Ro-bair Ay-bear?”
You know, Fek, this movie is about sacrificing a living person to save another one… you ready for the fundy fighting?
So how does Carmen Diaz do it in this movie? Does she just rub the semen on her scalp like a moisturizer?
and that’s the problem with the California wild fires….they fail to burn Hollywood to the fucking ground.
The Mighty One respects Diaz’s commitment to art by refusing to wear one of those cheesy faux-bald hats…
SRSLY go DIAF you cunch. (bitch cunt)
What ol’ Pauly likes about bitches that have a terminal illness is that there’s no commitment.
Donk-fundies can go DIAD too.
Juan-thank you for opening the gateway to me spamming this thread with Robear Berbil jokes!
“Cancer urble HA HA HA!”
If I had my sister’s liver, I’d drink it dead too.
Do you really need a kidney that bad? I can get you a kidney, believe me. There are ways Cameron. You don’t want to know about it.
I had sex with a girl that had a terminal illness once. It was great right up until the funeral director walked in.
I have my sister’s eyes
Don’t you mean your mother’s eyes?
No, no I don’t.
Another thing I like about bitches with terminal illness: No pubes
Well thanks for correcting the post, Vince, now my joke about “Robert” Ebert means NOTHING! (of course, since it’s on page one, no one will read it anyway)
In the South My Sister’s Keeper would be a redneck biopic
Vince, I do want to honestly thank you for posting this. I didn’t think it was possible to read anything online today that would piss me off *and* hate humanity more, especially after all the whiny MMOers bitching about the Turtle Raid fix on “Lord of the Rings Online”.
I’ve got one of my sisters kidneys. *pets Igloo cooler*
Too late, Juan…too late!
“Schro-bear Dill! Berbil my Schro-bear!”
This is good PR for me. I’m expecting at least a 150% increase in sales of my “We’ll Miss You” dew rags. You can check that and other great designs at http://www.ehistoppedcaringaboutthisafewwordsagosowhyamistilltyping.com
“Uh, Cameron, I said you would have to get balled for this role. So… does the lack of carpet match the lack of drapes?”
Cameron in Set 3: “My daughter’s Cancer didn’t know when to quit. Do You!”
roger ebert “this film is jaw-droppingly touching”…..right guys?