
The other day I told you about how Michael Bay wants to make a “small, Pulp Fiction-y” type movie between Transformers 2 and 3. /Film has since dug up a little more info about the project, and by more info I mean comparisons to more movies.
Described as “a mixture of Fargo and Pulp Fiction” or “Point Break with bodybuilders”, Pain & Gain [based on this 1999 feature from the Miami New Times] tells the true story of a couple of Florida steroid-abusing knucklehead bodybuilders who become criminals involved in an extortion ring and a a kidnapping plot that goes horribly awry.
The Fast and the Furious was Point Break with cars, so I imagine Point Break with bodybuilders will be awesome. I’ve always said the only thing that would’ve made it better was greasy guys flexing in speedos. That always gets me pumped. I might have to bring a spotter.



Michael Bay has banned all bodybuilders from using NO-Xplode on his set.
I’ll give Utah two!
*kisses biceps*
Working title: Blasting Pain, Awesome Gain.
Bodybuilders think an extortion ring is something you buy to work your deltoids.
Working title: “Boom! Goes the Dynamite”
Bah! That yIntagh roided freak in the banner pic may be built for show, but The Mighty Feklahr is built for GO*!
(*Which is short for “going through the drive thru”.)
Michael Bay’s Marcellus Wallace does NOT look like a bitch!
Bay’s bodybuilders will be played by Jeff Goldblum and Martin Lawrence.
I might have to bring a spotter.
By the time I got half-way through the plot synopsis, I had already spotted.
“Inject me in the ass Warchild, seriously.”
I’d describe Michael Bay as a mixture of a whore and TNT.
P.S. Also describes my last summer.
Fargo + Pulp Fiction = Point Break + bodybuilders
I just simplified this equation on some scratch paper and I believe the answer is “unmitigated suckfest”.
Tag line: 100% pure androstendione!
Michael Bay’s idea of a bodybuilder is a bit skewed: [tinyurl.com]
The Mighty Feklahr understands that Michael Bay makes a cameo as “Zed”. On a surf-board. With pyros. WITH BLOOD! (Just kidding, it’s really for the anal sex.)
In Michael Bay’s Pulp Fiction, Bruce Willis tells his annoying girlfriend to “STFU!”, then blows her up with his angry thoughts when she whines about blueberry pancakes! OH WHA AH AH AH!
Well, since he won’t be able to go with the one suave, smooth one and the high-strung one, I’m guessing he’ll be forced to go with a high-strung black guy and a high-strung white guy.
Michael Bay was surprised to find a house in both Nebraska AND Iowa with a sign for “Dead Nigger Storage”!
In Michael Bay’s Pulp Fiction, the “Royale with cheese” conversation is switched to a “GRRR…FREEDOM FRIES!” diatribe.
In Michael Bay’s Pulp Fiction, Jules wallet says, “Bad Monkey Fighter”.
*Point* “Break” was how the Rocky, Ivan Drago pre-fight banter was originally scripted.
Holy crap Fek, I get stuck in the dolphin net just for showing up. How the hell did you get away with THAT?
We’re going to pump *clap* a-you full of lead, motherfucker.
Get away with what?
I’m excited. I always thought Point Break was nearly perfect, but Patrick Swayze’s balls were just too big.
This film was tentatively titled “Pumping Iron 2: Splosions” but Ahnold did not approve, unfortunately.