It’s officially time to scrape the bottom of the comic-book barrel. WB has announced that The Green Lantern will shoot in Australia with Casino Royale director Martin Campbell and a $150 million budget. Besides a favorable exchange rate, the government of New South Wales also provides a 15% “location rebate.” The lead hasn’t been named yet, but rumors thus far have included Emile Hirsch, Anton Yelchin, Sam Worthington, and Ryan Gosling.
To put the budget in perspective (and these are all estimated numbers…), Fantastic Four was $100M, Iron Man was $140M, Watchmen was $150M, The Dark Knight was $185M, X-Men: The Last Stand was $210M and Spider-Man 3 topped $258M. [/Film]
Keep in mind, The Green Lantern gets his superpowers from a magic ring. No, really. An alien named Abin-Sur crash lands on Earth, meets a young man, and likes him so much he puts a ring on him. And the ring inspires the him to put on a full-body spandex suit and knee-high green F-me boots. What that has to do with lanterns, I have no idea. Maybe when he’s not fighting crime, he’s really into shabby chic.
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Hey girl, you like my green one-piece swimsuit? It’s green because I care about the Earth, you know, she’s like our mother. Hang on, girl, I just remembered I haven’t called my mother yet today.
How dare you besmirch the legacy of Hal Jordan!
What’s my casting choice? Here’s a hint: the theme song would be “Shine on You Swayze Diamond.”
(That green glow? Radiation.)
This guy seems pretty hetero to me.
Wait…
FUCK – Jackman, get the hell out of my Gaydar!
Campbell’s directing a movie about a glowing green dude. Based on Casino Royale, I’d say every scene is going to look like a rave. A rave of suck.
Beware my power… Green Lantern’s tights!
I hate Emile Hirsch. He is a scary midget, like an evil doll come to life. Kill it with fire!
For the uninitiated, Green Lanterns derives his power from a magical ring that is only limited by the possessor’s imagination.
Its like the Muppet Babies Ring of Power.
Does he have a sidekick that cracks him in half right before every action scene?
He’s not the Green Glow Stick, jeez
Oh yeah? Ask Wonder Woman. Or Robin.
Ring of Power? Didn’t Frodo and Rudy already destroy that? Does this mean Gollum was once the Green Lantern?
I’m not sure the imagery of a lantern is one that strikes fear into the hearts of bad guys. Batman sure, superman sure, spider-man sure…the green lantern….hmmm.
Green Lantern is powerless to the color Yellow. Which ranks second on the list of the most gayest superhero weaknesses ever, right under Hellboy’s kitten fetish.
Nice Rotty. But did you know that to spice things up the bedroom, he wears an opaque condom?
Is Green Lantern the one that turns into an animal or the one that turns into some useless form of water?
This is just one step away from a Captain Planet movie.
The Power is yours!
@Stone
That the Wonder Twins. Unfortunately they are actual twins not Wonder Woman’s tits.
so i’m talking to my boss who’s a terrible comic book geek and he just explained the yellow thing to me. I think it may top hellboys kittens.
also apparently they have to charge up their “ring power”. this sounds gayer every second.
Vince’s O-ring powers me.
Oh it gets gayer Affleck…he takes his orders from a group of blue Midgets on the planet Oa who live around a giant Lantern.
Its like the Muppet Babies Ring of Power.
Dude, you’re old, nowadays the kids would call that the Backyardigans Ring of Power.
…leaves to change another godforsaken diaper…
It’s the ambiguously gay solo!
Hey apparently they’re not midgets, they’re just small aliens which makes it so much better.
Also apparently at first they invented robots to guard the lantern, called them Manhunters and then were surprised when they went rogue and killed a bunch of people.
Is there really an audience for this pish or are the mob just looking to launder some more money?
Aaaaaaaand there is a Corps or group of Green Lanterns that police the galaxy…
one of which IS AN ACTUAL PLANET! I shit you not. Its called Mogo and it has a ring too!
Imagine…heheh…imagine the fucking Moon with a Green Lantern symbol on its surface ATTACKING YOU!!!!
Wait, what okeEmIfY? There are fucking Smurfs are in this thing, too? Who wrote this, L Ron Hubbard’s retarded cousin?
Everytime someone tells me that Iron Man or Spider-man or the X-men’s story is implausible I tell them to crack open the history of the Green Lantern once and a while.
The story is like Superman on an acid trip. Only Lobo’s history is crazier but its meant to be.
Though I love Kilawog(The coolest Lantern BY A FUCKING MILE)
Come on, how does WB expect to make money with this when Return of the Jedi can’t even turn a profit?
Until they heard this pitch, most WB executives thought a “Green Lantern” involved a Michigan J. Frog plush toy and a Fleshlight.
Robin found out about Green’s problem with yellow when he tried to spring some surprise golden shower action on him. Also, don’t even try to mention zip-lock bags around him; he still doesn’t believe yellow and blue make green.
It’s actually reached the height of it’s gayness now. There are lanterns of all different colors, red, blue, yellow, PURPLE!
My boss was just tellling me about Kilawog. pink with a huge mouth….so now the green lantern is gay and racsist.
Hal’s nemesis is a dude named Sinistro an alien who used to be a Lantern himself before he betrayed the Corps. Now, I don’t know how you CAN’T see a guy named SINISTRO betraying you before hand but I’m sure Mr. Sinister also was given the same leeway by the X-Men so…
How delightfully ignorant.
Only thing I have to say is that the first sentence is retarded. This site needs a new writer if they are putting out crap like that.
Omg, you guys are so right! What was I thinking writing a movie blog without reading every edition of a comic book about a guy with a magic ring first!