04.29.09 FIRST THREE MINUTES OF ‘FOOD INC.’

Having grown up in Nebraska and having farmers in my immediate family, I’ve seen where and how most of the food we eat comes from.

The fucking store. I couldn’t give a fuck if they pull the hooves off a steer slowly and deliberately, ala CIA style, so long as that fucking steak is tasty.

Does that same Chinese guy on a bicycle deliver in every fucking city? He was just at my office like 2 hours ago.

Meh. This’ll have the same effect as Super Size Me… everyone I know who watched that ended up wanting a burger at the end

Having also worked on a farm, I can tell you wear peaches, plums, nectarines, grapes, and oranges come from. Mexicans pick them.

Furthermore, if animals didn’t want to get slaughtered and eaten by humans, they should do something about it. Christ, they could learn a lot from watching some old Warner Bros. cartoons.

It purports to be an honest look at where the food we eat actually comes from.

Zog look forward this movie. Zog not sure Zog still believe baby coyote brought by stork. Zog mother lie Zog before…

J, sounds like you’ve been listening to ‘Cows with Guns’

I’m going to start showing vegetarians a bunch of pictures of baby carrots, baby corn, bean sprouts and peanuts. I’m going to ask them if they like killing innocent plants that are harvested solely for consumption. Then I’m going to beat the shit out of them because they’re anemic.

I get my food from some psycho chick who’s working her way through the Julia Child cookbook. Somehow this makes me gay.

Every kid in my neighborhood can tell you where *I* come from.

/Check out my Neverending Story van, Timmy!

@JHC–those plants are grown in dirt and fertilized with shit.
/grabs fistful of bacon, jams into mouth
It ain’t right, I tells ya.

Oh my god, that looks efficient. How did we let this happen?

I, like many of you, have worked in the food service industry. I can say with certainty that how these animals are slaughtered and processed is far and away less nasty as what happens in the kitchens at restaurants.

Seriously
Working in the produce industry I say to you all, emphatically, wash your fresh vegetables. Serioulsy.
/seriously
Cus I jizz in the process water! Woot!

I don’t give a fuck if a hot dog is made from pig lips and chicken assholes, it all tastes the same when I’m eating it out of my girlfriend’s buttcrack.

Didn’t Food, Inc. do Funkytown?

This looks to be a mooving film.

No, that was ChickenLipps, Inc., Stoney.

I put in some red food inc with the baking soda and vinegar in my science fair volcano… yay, LAVA!

Michael Pollan is a fucking hypocrite. It’s painfully clear that he enjoys a good tube steak.

Careful, Crappie- meat that’s been in your girlfriends buttcrack might be tainted.

The reason we have so many psychopaths in society today is because they all use to to work in stockyards killing baby cows with mallets with multiple blows to the head til they stopped crying and they gave up the ghost. Is anyone else aroused?

One time Duke, I bit the wrong thing, it was a prolapse in judgement.

If I found out where food came from, I’d cut out the middle man and see the connect for the tangy McRib.

Three minutes is all it takes for Harry Knowles to make his food disappear.

I have a hankering for Mugwump jizzum for some reason.

Guinny, those calves were asking for it.

Watching stuff like this doesn’t make me veal bad at all.

Continuing the food theme, there’s a new up.

newp!

I can tell you wear peaches, plums, nectarines…

And I can tell YOU wear apples and oranges, you fruit.

True Story: Yes JHC they were.

Having seen Fast Food Nation, aka propaganda for vegetarians starring Avril Fucking Levine, I’m gonna go ahead and guess this “honest” look is anything but.