It’s been two or three days since Wolverine was leaked online (either a “DVD-quality workprint” or an “incomplete, early version with missing and unedited scenes” depending on who you ask), but naturally the internet’s still a-buzz about it, and Fox is talking tough.

“Fox vowed Wednesday that the source of the “stolen, incomplete and early version” of the movie would be prosecuted and said the FBI and MPAA are investigating the leak.” [AP]

“Fox executives are describing it to me as one of the worst piracy scandals they can recall, since it involves a major studio and major movie [Editor's dismissive wank]. The studio is understandably in a panic. With the film opening on May 1st, this leak could cause incalculable damage to the box office of the latest in the valuable X-Men franchise. The studio must find out who did this and punish him/her/them to the full extent of the law.” [DHD]

First of all, the box office impact of this will be miniscule – pirated DVDs have always been available in New York, and I’ve never once bought one instead of seeing it in the theater.  Likewise, if I actually plan on seeing a movie, I’m not going to watch it on my laptop.  Secondly, the FBI?  You mean the guys that infiltrate terrorist cells and investigate serial killers (or is there some sort of Film Bureau of Investigations that I don’t know about)?  We’ve got them investigating how a Hugh Jackman movie got posted on the internet now?  Look, if Rupert Murdoch has enough money to pay Chris Klein for this performance, he can certainly afford his own DVD piracy death squad.  So I’d appreciate it if you kept my tax dollars far far away from an investigation about f’ing Wolverine.  All 42 of them.