Elisabeth Shüe, whose name I insist on spelling with an umlaut, is doing great. And by “great” I mean “starring in a movie called PIRANHA 3D!” (actual title doesn’t have caps or an exclamation point, I just thought it was warranted).

Look, I understand remaking Scarface (the 1932 version) or The Manchurian Candidate, but honestly, how long do you think it took the filmmakers to come up with the original Piranha?  Even in a weed-induced coma it couldn’t be more than 20 minutes.  Would it be that hard to come up with a new concept?  “Killer _____s in 3D!”  And the blank can be ANY NOUN.  It would be just as good as this.  …Except for “lab puppies”, ’cause I would try to wrestle the screen and make it give me kisses.  Haha, I love you, Patches.

UPDATE: I now realize it’s spelled “Elisabeth” (thanks, Donkey Hodey).  You’ve screwed me again, English spellings!