…HOW? …WHY?
04.16.09
THIS SUMMER… SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEATING OUR CHESTS!
The following story disturbs me far more than the Japanese gore orgy I posted less than an hour ago. Crash has been Neflix’s top rental for almost four years running.
“The Dark Knight” couldn’t dethrone it. Neither could Harry Potter, Indiana Jones or even Iron Man. No, “Crash” has remained Netflix’s No. 1 rented movie since its DVD debut in September 2005—much to the delight and confusion of its director, Paul Haggis. “I just assumed it was some sort of anomaly,” Haggis told the Tribune recently. “I have no idea why anyone went to the movie in the first place, let alone rent it. It was a little independent film, and when people started to see it, I was amazed.” [ChicagoTribune]
That makes two of us. Crash was a sleazy, sensationalist piece of trash that made me want to shower after I watched it – the perfect example of what happens when you turn “gritty realism” into a ridiculous cartoon. You can just imagine the upper-class white liberal writer thinking “Yeah, man, and then when the cop shoots the little Mexican girl for no reason, people will be sad, but they should be, because that’s the reality out there on the streets, man.” No. No it’s not. You just made that up because you’re a dick and you like ruining everyone’s day. Frankly, the whole thing is ludacris. Shut up, I know where the corner is.

What’s this about little Mexicans? And Ronald Farber?
I went a long diatribe about how terrible Crash was when my brother told me he liked it. Of course, he got his first bj while watching it, so his opinion might be tainted.
Well maybe if they titled it “NOT THE ONE WITH JAMES SPADER” I’d stop fucking renting it.
Honestly, read this review and try to resist the urge to stab the shit out of someone. Can’t be done.
http://laurenenguyen.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/a-crash-into-reality/
I wrote a review of Lauren E. Nguyen’s last name: Ummmmmm, Na-guy-en?
Ahhhhhh, Burnsy got it before I could. I liked this movie, thought it was great. I rent it from Netflix 4000 times a month.
One reason, three words:
Jennifer Esposito naked
I’ve seen Anne Hathaway’s tits, that doesn’t mean I’m ever going to watch ‘Havoc’, let alone waste a spot on my Netflix queue for it.
I would have never rented it if I had known there wasn’t going to be a bandicoot in it.
Was this report issued 15 days ago?
You mean to tell me that Crash isn’t the John Graziano biopic?
I didn’t “get” Crash. I think the message was “All minorities are dangerous, but only certain ones are threatening”.
Breakdown of renter demographics:
8% Actual ‘Crash’ fans.
45% Expecting the other ‘Crash’ movie.
12% ‘Rented it as a goof’
35% Confused NASCAR fans.
People think it’s a documentary about the housing market.
El Nino, like all things Spanish, is dangerous.
Donkey: I caught Havoc on IFC at, like, 3:00 in the morning, on a weeknight, and sat through the whole damn thing.
Totally worth it.
El Nino is Mexican. So twice as dangerous.
Also . . . My job sucks ass now.
New up… and may God Have mercy on your souls.
Get. Out. Now.
Okay here is the deal – Paul Haggis is one of the big wigs at the Church of Scientology. Make sense now? He’s the head honcho at the celebrity center and the church makes certain this movie stays on top of Blockbuster and Netflix. Cats out of the bag – now I must hide.
I don’t see what the big deal is, don’t most Americans learn all their lessons about racism in the big city buy watching films made by wealthy Scientologists from Canada? If anyone can think of a better authority on the subject I’d like to hear it.