BRUNO HAS A MEINSPACE PAGE
04.03.09
Every time I hear marketing people talk about how great the Why So Serious campaign was I want to a choke-rape a publicist. But every once in a while, a movie does viral marketing I actually enjoy (Tropic Thunder comes to mind). On that note, here are some highlights from Brüno’s Meinspace page (careful, it has sound):
Vassup! Villkomen zum das Meinspace page von Brüno!! Brüno don’t like taking abaus meinself – you probably already know zat from reading my autobiography. …Brüno can go six days mitout doing a scheisse – 8 vhen I’m in love.
First ich should tell you zat I’m in a serious relationship at ze moment und I’m completely faithful – apart, of course, from blaujoben.
Ich started work at ze coolest club in Vienna – zat’s right, Klub Apartheid.
Favorite Food: Sashimi Fed Veal
Served at ‘Hiroshima’, Frederick Vorms’s auzgezeichneter restaurant in Salzburg. Ze calf is killed when it is one week old – until zen it is only fed ze finest Spanish mackerel und yellowtail from Nobu. From the moment it is born til ze moment it dies, it has its own DJ zat plays it a selection of chillaus music. …It is killed not by electrocution or in ze Judisher vay, but by being smothered mit a silk pillow.
It’s funny because German is a silly language. Unlike Bulgarian. One time someone told me a joke in Bulgarian and I got so depressed I actually killed myself.
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I’m so ready for this movie to go away.
Banner pic:
Baby: Nigga please.
Nothing gay related can be as funny as watching Rob Schneider bang Sean Penn in Milk.
or as sexy.
Believe it or not, I speak fluent Bulgarian. Really. There’s not a joke here, I just don’t get to mention this very often.
And Vince, I don’t know if you just chose Bulgarian at random, but you’re dead on about the jokes being depressing as hell. I never really understood their sense of humor since most of the jokes were really just observations about how shitty life is.
One time someone told me a joke in Bulgarian and I got so depressed I actually killed myself.
Can I nom parts of Vinnie’s posts? That ^ was the funniest thing about this movie.
From Watchmen to Watch Men. Vince, you trying to tell us something?
Rot, by looking at your crotch, it looks like you speak Bulgearian as well.
Bohemian jokes are mostly about how stupid we are.
How many Bohonks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. We can’t ever find the hole in the lightbulb.
You can nom it, Al, but keep in mind I choose the winners myself, and I think I already congratulate myself enough.
I shit you not, at a Bohemian tractor pull, we tie a rope to a tractor and time how long it takes 4 guys to pull it down the track.
:-( God I hate my parents.
I already congratulate myself enough.
Is that what you call beating-off?
What are Bohemian Raps about?
You can nom it, Al, but keep in mind I choose the winners myself, and I think I already congratulate myself enough.
Okay, two things. Is “nomming” the same thing as knobbing, and I think your shower drain agrees, Vince.
Banner Pic: I didn’t know Emmanuel Lewis was in this.
What are Bohemian Raps about?
6″ of tripe and fatback encased in boiled cabbage leaves.
Coolest Club in Brunos face? Baton.
“Careful, it has sound” should be tattooed on Kim Kardashian’s forehead.
Hmmm, that was almost as annoying as reading a Stathamese block quote.
Almost.
I decided that after deciphering three, and only three, lines of that shit and not cracking the slightest bit of a smile that I would rather be plucking nose hairs and surreptitiously dropping them into co-worker’s coffees.
That’s comedy.
At least a Vogon never read you poetry
Smoke, its tattooed on her ass. In huge letters
BANNER PIC: The last chubby black thing Bruno held that close to his face was hanging between a dude’s legs.
<== Hung.
Over.
I gotta say that Bruno’s humor is somewhat hit & miss – or should I say shit & piss?
*notes down joke for open mic night*
By the way,a common Bulgarian name for girls is “Vaselina” and that shit always made me giggle.
Something tells me this movie is gonna be a Drag.
Looks like Crappy’s the one needing a hug today.
The simple fact that he gets to play stink finger with Isla Fisher is proof enough that Kahless hates me.
Crap, I’m hungover too.
2-for-1 shots of Maker’s Mark.
Fuck Mark.
This movie is trying harder than ShamWow vince.
Brüno can go six days mitout doing a scheisse
But apparently not 2 years.
Rot says:
“Believe it or not, I speak fluent Bulgarian.”
Who would have thought that Fek would no longer be the one who speaks the most obscure language.
I’ll take that hug, but I’m rubbing my dong on ya :D LOLJO!
I’d rather see a Klaus Meinspace page.
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!
I just pulled a huge Bulgar out of my nose.
Actually Tengo, Bulgarian and Klingon are awfully similar in that most of the words for physical violence are the same as different sex acts. Or maybe that was just my personal experience.
^tweet
Oh, and to answer your question, Rot, I actually did just pick Bulgarian at random. I mean, not totally random – I assumed it would be a language that sounds depressing.