04.28.09 BENICIO DEL TORO AS… BRET EASTON ELLIS?
Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! If you came here for answers, you’re in the wrong place, bub. Now, who wants to get stabbed in the dark? Ouch, I’m bleeding! Yay!
MTV recently talked to American Psycho/Rules of Attraction/Less Than Zero author Bret Easton Ellis, whose 2005 book Lunar Park will soon become a movie. The protagonist of the book is a fictionalized version of the lily-white Ellis, who says the lead candidate for the role is noted Puerto Rican Benicio Del Toro. It’s a strange book – it starts with Ellis raising a family after gaining literary fame in the 80s, and eventually becomes a Stephen King-style supernatural thriller.
“Benicio would actually be playing Bret Easton Ellis,” the author said of his new, unlikely doppelganger. “It’s a strange bit of casting.” According to Easton Ellis, it was their physical differences that attracted the “Traffic” star to the role. “I think he’s interested just because he’s rarely offered Anglo parts. I think that’s one of the reasons it was very exciting to him. I don’t even think he read the book; I just think he read the script and said ‘Oh, this is an Anglo writer and you’re not casting a white dude? You’ve come to me?’ And I think that rarely happens for him. I think he’s offered a lot of Spanish characters and ethnic types, and I think it’s very rare for him to get offered Anglo parts.” [MTV]
Of course he didn’t read the book – he’s Puerto Rican. I kid, I kid. But in all seriousness, if they ever make a movie about my life, I’m going on record that I want Danny Trejo for the lead. Mira, puto – deed ju come here for some pinche movie news? (*fires shotgun at camera*)
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There are 23 comments about:
BENICIO DEL TORO AS… BRET EASTON ELLIS?
It’ll be a real stretch actually playing a white douchebag after merely playing a guy who white douchebag wear shirts off.
*of
Fuck.
Man, that sentence was all sorts of fucked up. I’mma take a few to gather my thoughts, maybe ‘bate in a sock.
Don’t mind me. I’m just admiring the shape of your skull.
Also bad casting ideas; Denzel Washingto(n) as Thomas Jefferson, John Woo as Martin Luther King, Nic Cage as anything other than a rock smeared with shit.
Hey, offer up enough Anglo parts and you can get a Puerto Rican to do “anycheeng joo want!”
BTK, those Anglo parts are still in the freezer, erswi.
Has anyone read Lunar Park? I’m not sure that you really want to make a pointless and frustrating movie but basing it on LP is a good way to go about it. (And I am a massive B.E.E fan…)
and I think it’s very rare for him to get offered Anglo parts.
Listen, I’m sorry but I don’t know Del Toro well enough to offer him the rarer Anglo parts right now. If he wants a Mexican’s forearm or a Chinese eyebrow, I’ve got plenty of those to go around.
Ang Lee got spashed with iridescent SFX paint, now, Anglo.
Not the B.E.E.s!
Damn, stepping on Klingon dick is a dangerous thing.
“Mr. Del Toro, can I offer you a Brazil nut?”
No, no, crap, it should go:
Ang Lee got sprashed with Milacre Glow, and now Anglo!!!
That’s the most nonsensical casting decision since Will Smith played a black guy in Six Degrees of Separation.
Judd Apatow is going to respond by making We Are Family and casting Michael Cera and Jonah Hill as Roberto Clemente and Willie Stargell.
Lol nice Robo.
Danny Trejo has signed to play me during my legendary high school years. Mashitty, coming soon to a grindhouse in your white suburb.
Sorry, I’m distracted by thinking of the alternative domain name extensions the chick in the banner ad can come up with…
.blo ?
“By honey, I go to post office now.”
“Anglo by store, you get milk too!”
BDT has also been offered the lead in Puerto Rican Psycho. He’s part of “that whole Yale thing” ["Yale" spelled j-a-i-l.]
Trejo was in one of my most favorite B movies, Wedlock (aka Deadlock). But they killed him off right away. That dropped it down a few notches. But then Rutger Hauer making Screwface’s head explode kicked it back up.
::too hot in here to make a joke right now::
[Puts down sherm]
Oh, I get this now.
[pulls up section of carpet, crawls under, whispers]
I’m a dust mite. Can you dig it?
You know, after BDT’s Oscar worthy turn as Ladybird Johnson in Blake Edwards’ Texas Cheese I think he can pull this role off like a wet scab.
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