Two posts ago I bet you were thinking, “Holy crap, this is the best bear-fight video I’m going to see all day!” Well pull down your skirt and panties, little girl, ’cause papa’s ready for round two. This one comes from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first film, Hercules in New York (originally titled Hercules Goes Bananas). Leave it to the governator to fight bears the old-fashioned way: with fists. And steroids meant for horses. While his girlfriend helpfully screams, “Hercules! …Beat him up!”
If nothing else, this clip proves that Nic Cage really paid his dues as a young actor.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Schwarzenegger-vase-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Total-Recall-DVD-Commentary-Video-150x150.jpg)
*pulls down skirt and panties, taps foot* I’m waiting.
I realize mascots are annoying but you didn’t have to *kill* him?
Pictured: Boston’s chances of taking home a Stanley Cup this year.
I could smell ass for the whole 2:19… I mean, even after he got out of the hansom cab.
Arnold: Bear! Who does the doctor treat?
Bear: Patients?
Arnold: Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing?
Bear: Wearing thin?
Arnold: Bingo
Dude, that bear knows kung fu. Truly nature’s most efficient land-based predator.
I’m conflicted. On one hand, it was interesting to hear Arnold’s voice because he had been dubbed out in the version I have seen, but I do miss the other voice. It was like a bad guy from a Sergio Leone movie voice coming out of this roided hulk, perfect mismatch.
I FUCKING LOVE PIC-I-NIC BASKETS!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, bears are real mean fuckers all right. Except when it comes to toilet paper. Then they piss and moan if it’s too rough or crumbly.
Leave it to the governator to fight bears the old-fashioned way: with fists.
Yeah, he’s a real talented bear-knuckle brawler.
God Bless that gondolier for keeping up with that crazy Italian music for the bear fight.
How unlucky can you get? The day you decide to try out your new bear costume by going for a stroll in the park, a 600lb bear escapes from the zoo and the world’s most notorious bear molester happens to be taking a cab ride with his impressionable girlfriend.
It’s true, the Central Park Zoo is made up of suicidal bears and furries that make cat noises. Not which this is.
That bear has a sweet business card. It’s a dead bunny.
Will Schwarzenegger shit in the woods?!?
Not SURE which that was…what I was saying before. Before I started to ramble. I shouldn’t have bought these drugs off that bear : (
Just don’t let Schwartzenegger shit on your chest.
Security seems pretty lapse at that fucking zoo. They better have the flying sharks in cages or somebody’s gonna get hurt.
Is a bear catholic?
The original script called for a gorilla, but he got deported before the scene was finished. Local Brotherhood of Bear Actors #216 caught wind of the project, forced a title change – the whole thing was a mess. It destroyed the box office numbers and cost Arnold a promising career. Anyway, moral of the story, unions are bad. I mean, stay off drugs. Whatever.