04.01.09 AWESOME BAD MOVIE ALERT: BIOHAZARD

Not to be confused with Bi O’ Hazzard, the trenchant yet madcap story of Bo and Luke’s cousin who went both ways.

It’s about Bruce Springsteen’s childhood in Jersey?
Sweet.

It’s about a Kansas cousin fucker’s family reunion?

Warning: Mullet.

A docudrama about a day in the life of the Palin household?

The behind-the-curtains wrangling to get the Spiderman musical produced?

What happens to Troma scripts that are too bad to make?

Is April 1st a Canadian bank holiday or something? Is it passover or some shit?

A highpoint in the career of David Hasselhoff’s mutant brother.

Warning: Sweet Mullet

The drawn-in jagged lines to demonstrate electricity was a nice touch.

It’s not a holiday here Crappy, but it should be.

Hey, is that French Stewart?

You know how if you are around someone with a different accent than you have, you start to pick it up? That second screencap looks like Bob Hope after spending too much time with Forrest Whittaker.

Us canucks only get Earth Day off this month. That IS French Stewart!

Not as sweet as my mullet guys….

*runs fingers through hair and mouths the words “Oh Yeeeeeah”*

In checking the spelling of David Hasslehoff, google rather cheekily offers this image:

http://smashgames.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/david-hasselhoff.jpg

Lovely.

lieBr0, Even Michelle Owen thinks the Hoff has gone to far. A Shar-Pei? Gross

The third screencap looks like that guy has spent too much time with Kevin Spacey.

See, it looks like he has balls in his mouth. Aw fuck it.

Or maybe unwisely eating a Toblerone sideways.

I dunno, Rock, all those folds of skin could provide alternative options.

Bikini Royale is the James Bond film that Daniel Craig absolutely refuses to do. Unless, Sacha Baron Cohen is the one in the bikini.

Bikini Royale is what they call a McDonald’s quarter pounder with cheese on the French Riviera.

The boys of Biohazard county were always a-stirrin’ up trouble round these parts and, well, that ol’ sherriff was doin’ his fair share too.

*two retards jump a gorge in an orange wagon they’ve playfully nicknamed the Colonel Klink.*

lieBr0, thats a fair point… but I’d expect the Hoff to be doing the do with a German Shepherd, not an adorable little Shar-Pei

Bikini Royale should involve many naughty Japanese gravure models learning discipline the hard way.

Good to see John Stamos’ stunt double gets real work.

I stand by my statement, “Alien VS Predator, Best Picture.” But to amend it just a bit, I would like to add, “Biohazard best original score.”