POSSIBLY THE MOST GENERIC IDEA EVER
04.15.09
Everything about this story is so typical that you expect it to be a scene in a comedy about the movie business rather than an actual story. Observe: Blake Masters, creator of the (possibly made-up) Showtime series Brotherhood, is set to direct an adaptation of 2 Guns, a Boom! Studios graphic novel.
“Guns” follows a DEA agent and an undercover naval intelligence officer who are unwittingly investigating each other and who steal mob money for the good guys. They realize later that the mob actually got them to swipe $50 million from the CIA. The Universal Pictures crime thriller aims to be a throwback to ’80s buddy cop movies in the vein of “Lethal Weapon” and “48 HRS.,” but with a modern spin. [HollywoodReporter]
Sounds more like a throwback to EVERY ACTION MOVIE EVER.
“So I got this script: it’s like JAG, meets Miami Vice, with a pinch of The Departed.”
“Hmm, can we fit the CIA in there somehow?”
“Not a problem. Hey, how ’bout one of them is a vampire? And another a wise-cracking black guy?”
“Ooh, that’s good. Wait, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
(together) “WISE-CRACKING BLACK VAMPIRE!”
“…Ooh, could he also have amnesia?”
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They realize later that the mob actually got them to swipe $50 million
It’s nice when they tell me the twist ending in the synopsis before they even start filming. This script needs a rapping kangaroo though. He could be called Boots MacGuffin.
If they’re going to do an ’80s throwback, I want boobs. And I don’t mean “Oh hey, I saw a partial side boob of that famous actress that doesn’t do nudity.” I mean random boobs in scenes just for the sake of boobs.
And the villian should wear chain mail.
I’m gettin’ too old for this script.
That was suppose to say “$50 million from the CIA” but the fucking CIA stole half my sentence. I’m gonna go hit their van (parked outside my house) with an umbrella. BRB.
You got to worry for Americas security when some one from the DEA and a sailer can steal $50 million from their intelligence service. CIA, CLOIA more like. Central lack of intelligence agency….haha, who’s with me….no..ok.
“48 Lethal Boobs”
Let’s start writing it, Miz
Ooh – Panda – put a banana in their tail pipe.
Never touch a Vampire’s Radio!
Then figure out a way to disable the van.
But is one of them a cop who has to break the rules to make sure justice is served?
Chief: You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGonigle. Did you really have to break so much furniture?
McGonigle: You tell me, Chief. You had a pretty good view from behind your desk.
If they want to go for an 80′s action movie feel then 2 guns just isn’t going to cut it. 80′s action movies never had less than 50. They’ll also need the 80′s guns with the increased clip size. If a gun can’t hold more than 100 bullets then it just isn’t worth it.
Oooh, wait, do they have to rebuild one of them with robot parts?
They said vein of lethal weapon.
I thought the ‘modern spin’ on 80s buddy cop flicks was making the white one asian instead.
What the fuck is with the “Congratulations – You Won!” audio that plays when I open this page.
*hopes he won something nice*
maybe you won an STD stone, I hear there is a lot of those going round.
I will watch this movie. If they make it with puppets.
Is one of the stars white and the other black? You know, for an original twist, what if the white guy was a hip-hop wigger and the black guy was a nerdy Urkel-clone who likes Celine Dion music?
Just trying to help!
So which one of the protagonists falls in love with the mafia don’s daughter? Or is it his ex-wife? Sister? Man, I’ve purposely forgotten so much about the ’80s it’s hard to remember.
You Won the Uproxx Sweepstakes (hepatitis B). Ask your doctor about Uproxx.
Oooh, another idea for a “modern spin!” What if…the two stars were GAY?!
You could call it “Lethal Brokeback.”
The ‘modern spin’ is that they steal $50 million from the Culinary Institute of America.
They should give it a postmodern spin where all the characters realize they’re in a shitty movie.
Oooh – maybe they can include some realistic shots of computer hackers hitting three keys and gaining access to the CIA’s mainframe. Maybe show the screen with a giant graphic that says “FILES COPIED” when they successfully find the information they need.
They should probably say something like “I’m in.”
Does anyone else get hungry during the scene with the coroner eating while conducting an autopsy? Or during zombie movies?
My Mom calls me an “80′s throwback” cause she says she should’ve threw me back in that dumpster in April of ’82
Keeping with the modern spin, how about if they try to get the cash from the mob by texting that picture of the kitten with a gun to it’s head saying “we can haz yor mony?”.
Stone, trust me, if they make the two main characters gay, you’ll hear them saying, “I’m in.”
The buddy cop movie audience is now the cgi special effect audience. dummies.
for the modern spin they’ll probably give the script writing duties to Seltzer and freidberg, it’s be 90 minutes of every famous scene from every 80′s action movie but it’ll be funny cause the actors will pull funny faces while doing it.
Will Smith will star in Lefal Weapon 5: Back to Bel Air.
The sequel to this movie will be 2 Guns, 1 Clip: Not Enough Bullets for the Both of Us
Is this a late April Fools joke? The whole thing seems made up…