Wolverine is Homophobic Turtle’s favorite character.
After the jump, I’ve got the brand new trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, with lots more footage of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, Taylor Kitsch as Gambit, and… uh… Will.i.am (I want to disembowel someone with a claw hammer every time I have to type that stupid f-cking faggity name) as John Wraithe/Kestrel/some kind of black, gay cowboy. Needless to say, I don’t have high hopes for this movie. For one thing, it’s a Fox movie and Fox’s execs breastfed lead paint as children (how else do you explain this poster?). For another, it’s got a goddamned Black Eyed Pea in it. AGAIN. Having a Black Eyed Pea in your movie is the unwanted gay advance of death. What idiot thinks this is a good idea? The comic book crowd is guaranteed to hate it, and Black Eye Peas fans aren’t showing up in droves to watch their favorite singer pretend to be someone else. I like the Misfits, doesn’t mean I want to watch Glenn Danzig play Thor. (though that actually might be kind of awesome.)
[more pics at USAToday]
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I think Sexman could play a field goal post pretty well.
I heard Rihanna was close to joining the Black Eyed Peas.
Banner Pic:
Wolverine is waking up from the wettest dream ever.
There hasn’t been a black cowboy as convincing as Will.I.am since Ginuwine.
In Soviet Russia, the wolverines consist of one man, and he never wears a fucking shirt.
Glenn Danzig as Thor?
“Mjolnir, tell your children not to walk my way”
“We can’t just let you walk away.”
What if he dances away?
I’d like to see any of the Jonas brothers in one of the Saw movies.
Well I seen a horse fly
I seen a dragon fly
I seen a house fly
I seen all that too
I seen a peanut stand
And heard a rubber band
I seen a needle that winked its eye
But I’ve been, done, seen about everything
When I see a wolverine fly
I think Miley Cyrus would make a great Jane Mansfield, only without the special effects when her head gets cut off.
unwanted gay advance of death something something freddy mercury.
if you would excuse me, ladies, i have a fox comedy to write.
Is there an X-Man that looks like a woman that looks like a man? If so, somebody needs to tell Fergie’s agent.
Back the truck up – Hugh Jackman AND Ryan Reynolds?
Why was I not informed of this earlier? This is on par with Depp/Bale.
In my day it was black one-eyed Sammy Davis Jr. peeing on your girlfriend. Preferable to this, in retrospect.
WHO TOOK MY LOOFAH?!?!?!?
He looks pretty pissed for someone who just woke up from a wet dream. Musta been a woman in it.
Looks like one of Wolvie’s pube dread locks got sucked into the intake of the hot tub.
Wolverine loves the win, but hates the Gatorade bath.
(Query: Do those new “G” commercials make anybody else want to burn down an orphanage full of cripples?)
I think I saw a wolverine once.
Breastfeeding lead paint makes metal detectors a bitch for your child’s entire life. That, and your child will be retarded.
It’s not a loofah! It’s not a loofah at all!
*Puts on Misfits CD*
Liev Schreiber burning bright
Ryan Reynolds in the night
I remember Wolverine
Will.i.am’s cowboy gets boned
Gambit’s played by someone unknown
I remember Wolverine
Thats how sweaty Kevin James gets after a big meal.
If he’s a wolverine, then why is he wearing Dog tags? Eh?
*taps temple*
At least Fox isn’t afraid to take on a Gay Cowboy on their ride to bankruptcy.
Is FD being a shithead for anyone else, or is it just me?
It’s acting screwy here too, Chino.
It’s putting out for me.
UPROOOOOXXXXXXX!!!!!
ehem
Wolverine really overreacts when somebody at a dinner party doesn’t use a coaster.
Ass.
Having a Black Eyed Pea in your movie isn’t nearly as bad as having a pinto bean.
I’m feeling full of funny today but Uproxx doesn’t want me to share it with you.
I was also gonna show you my boobs today. Oh well.
Already seen ‘em. Meh.
{ducks flying chair, dodges vase, gets hit with .45 slug in cock}
As long as we’re sticking with musical acts we like taking on movie roles, I’d pay good money to see Henry Rollins get back into acting.
Oh Uproxx(xxxxx!!) how, oh how, do I love it when, you open a hundred tabs, extra windows, and make me fight these pop ups like I visited a porn web site circa 1997.
Really.
I love that.
That’s happening to me, too! I’m gonna go do some work, I guess.
Uproxx, my boss fucking loves you right about now.
New pants up!
Crapbasket, wow! I thought that was just me it loved that much to jizz 500 windows worth of crap all over my screen.
Uproxx…you whore.
Ya know, I think Liev Shrieber (sic) is my favorite Jew.
Can’t they make a movie where him, Bill Goldberg and Nic Cage (playing a Hasidic rabbi) go back in time to fight Hitler and his 2 uber-tough henchmen (played by Dolph Lundgren and that body builder guy who played Ahhhnold in the TV movie)?
Cmon FOX SPOTLIGHT!!! COME THROUGH!
Warum brennen? WARUM BRENNEN!!! WARUMBRENNEN!WARUMBRENNEN!