03.25.09 WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE TRAILER (!!!)

You’re a tease, dude–tags include Boners and Wild Things, yet no young Denise Richards lezzing it up in the trailer.

Inside all of us is Hope, with side order of change. And inside of some of us, Sickle Cell.

How do I tell my boss I need to run home and change my jizz-filled pants? Should I ask or just let the growing stain announce it for me?

When I was 8, the wild thing inside me was my uncle. Ironically, a big hairy guy who said “I didn’t want to wake you up but I’ve got something to show you.”

God, I can’t believe I said that. “Ironically” should be replaced by “Predictably.”

Inside all of us is Hope. When Hope gets inside me, I tell her I never agreed to a prostate tickle and she’d better knock it the fuck off.

They had me with I didn’t want to wake you up, but I really wanted to show you something. Just like Uncle Bill.

Ugh.

The only thing worse than this movie sucking would be Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg Present Where the Sidewalk Ends.

Looks like we found Vince’s tentpole movie.

The last thing that made me cum that hard was a Milf erotic talent show.

How do I tell the IT Nazis that I have some serious need to be able to stream videos while at work?

No, I just had something in my eye. Shut up.

I’ll just run the mental movie I made as a child when reading this as a child… [eyes roll back into head, wipe fade ala Star Wars...]
No Daddy! Not the belt sander! I didn’t see that last dog turd! You drink cuz I cry so I’ll stop crying I swear!
[fade in to eye rolling back]
Whoa, wrong trailer.

Monster I’d Like to Fuck of course

Crappy, when did you see the trailer for Bloodsport 2?

The Neverending Story wants its homobestialeroticism back.

Michael Bay’s company has already ordered a reboot. In his version, the little boy will be played by Rachel Bilson, and she’ll be a streetwise high school transfer to suburban Topeka. One day, while out driving her custom GTO, she comes across a secret government facility that has been creating mutant warriors in a plot to take over the world. With the help of nerdy computer geek Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his hip and sarcastic ethnic friend Corbin Blue, they rescue the mutants and take off on a very… explosive adventure.

Am I the only one who hasn’t read this GD book? When I was a kid we didn’t have books, we told stories with pictures we etched on the walls.

That’s because you’re old, Al.

Because in Canada, this book is called “Canada.”

And yet still no screen adaptation of “No Jumping on the Bed”? The script practically writes itself!

C’mon now guys, no making fun of Al just for being Candianian. It’s not her fault, and besides that they make pretty good syrup up there.

Like really good syrup.

Like when you’re all high and shit from what you keep in the box . . . you know . . .

Encyclopedia Brown starring Chris Brown is also up for grabs Hollywood. Lock that shit up!

Gwyneth Paltrow’s head?

Animal crackers?

My dick?

Fox in socks?

No, you’re not the only one Al.

As much as that kid runs around in that dirty furry costume you know it has to smell like the underside of a hobo’s nutsack.

@Nezzer

You sure not the overside of a hobo’s nutsack? No no no. You’re right. The underside. What was I thinking?

You know who’s not getting a box this year? Burnsy.
And I mean that in a couple ways.

Would the underside of a hobo’s nutsack smell sufficiently better or worse than the overside of a hobo’s nutsack?

Another burning question . . . how many times can we work hobo’s nutsack into this thread?

Hobo’s nutsack.

I wish they’d make an adaptation of my favorite childrens’ book. Well, at least it was my favorite before I got a marker and learned to spell. I don’t really want to see ‘Clifford the Big Red Dong’ come to theaters.

Hobo’s buttcrack?

@jokerswild

I’m not sure if you hobonutsack analysis properly brings up the gravity of hobonutsack situation as a whole…hobonutsack.

Michelle Owen would, Donk.

The 70’s blaxploitation version of this, Were Dem While Tings At? had all the glamour and ritz of The Wiz and all the violence and booty of Dolomite

BANNER PIC

Max reacted as most would when he realized that he was not the King of the Monsters but the King of Wiping Every Monster’s ass

Hobonutsack/
Hobonutsack/
Hobonutsack/
Ah a snake! A snake wooooo!/
Hobonutsack/
Hobonutsack/
Hobonutsack/
A mushroom! Ah a mushroom!

It’s nto my HTML skillz, it’s UPROOOOXXXX!!!!
Oh, and fuck maximizing site traffic with “Megan Fox Naked” I think erswi is onto something with the hobonutsack demo we could be drawing.

Thats it! I’ve had it!
I’m sick of these motherfucking hobonutsacks on this hobonutsack plane!!!!

Is a hobonutsack that thing that’s attached to a stick that they carry over their shoulder?

If Hobonutsack A hitched a hobonutsack train traveling at 74 mph at 11:53 and Hobonutsack B hitched a hobonutsack train traveling at 80 mph at the same spot at 12:41, at what time would it be when the hobonutsucks collided?

Spock:Live long and hobonutsack
John McClain: Yippekiya Hobonutsack!
Narrator or Tale of Two Cities: It was the best of hobonutsacks. It was the worst of hobonutsacks

Jesus…it works with everthing!!!!

*hobonutsacks

Fuck.

Chino, interesting fact. D’you know that song “Do Your Ears Hang Low”? (and being a mom, I have to guess you do)

Well when it says “can you throw ‘em over your shoulder, like a Continental soldier . . . ” apparently that’s a reference to the hobonutsackonastick that you asked about.

What do you do for recreation?

Oh the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional hobosnutsack.

When the hobonutsucks collide I’d have to guess it would be 69 o’clock.

* i’m still 13 on the inside