Is Forest Whitaker in this?
Opening this weekend:
- Monsters vs. Aliens: Features Steven Colbert playing the president and a solid cast of voices so I’m sure it won’t be too hard to sit through if the droolshitters need up shutting, but it’s still not Pixar. And the quicker this 3-D revival trend dies the better. Why? I dunno, I’m just a hater, y’all.
- A Haunting in Connecticut: “Based on a true story.” Yeah? F yourself. Also, why Connecticut? Nothing interesting happens in Connecticut. Though if I lived there, and I was trying to get a woman to shut up, I think a really good line would be, “Hey, we’re in Connecticut now: the C is silent.”
- 12 Rounds: Renny Harlin directs John Cena in a cross between Taken and Saw. I suspect I’d need to wear some control-top underwear to keep from prolapsing. I picture Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham headbutting in the front row.
(Limited Release)
- The Education of Charlie Banks: Hey, isn’t this the movie that guy from Limp Bizkit directed? *fart noise*
- Mysteries of Pittsburgh: Based on the Michael Chabon book. Serious question now: has anyone ever actually seen a Sienna Miller movie?
Bottom line: Wait for Adventureland next week.
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I’m still recovering from the severe teabagging administered by Vincent Price in House of Wax.
Funny, that’s what my “O” face looks like too.
Onnetiut?
I like how on the ads for ‘A Haunting in Connecticut” they read the first lines of that silly poem “One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight” like it’s supposed to be extra-spooky.
Hmmm, I think I’ll stay home and rip through Season 3 of The Wire instead. Thanks Hollytards!
Alright? Who stabbed the gerbil with the purple butt plugs?
12 rounds is how many shots you’d have to buy me and my friends to get me into that movie.
Hey, we’re in Connecticut now: the C is silent you bithy unt.
3-D animation is much easier to jackoff to.
Banner pic: I FUCKING LOVE TACOS!!!!!!!!!
In preparation for a slower tourist season due to the movie’s frightening effects, the Holidy Inn Connecticut has had to fire Rosy, their Housekeeper. Fortunately, they’re letting her stay on as the desk clerk.
12 Rounds: Come see a bad remake of Die Hard III directed by the guy who made Die Hard II!
Adventureland is the movie Mysteries of Shittsburgh might have been had Chabon not had a taste for cock. 80′s Pittsburgh is the new…uh… bah… I got nothing.
I saw that one Sienna Miller movie where she was naked. And then that other one where she got naked. I only saw the parts where she was naked though. I was also naked at the time.
Sienna Miller’s an actress? I thought she was just some alright looking british chick that did…stuff.
I may check out Gomorra.
The Education of Charlie Banks?
Nice to know that two of the Mighty Ducks found love together.
Looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop skinning girl scouts.
With the exception of Layer Cake I thought Sienna Miller only did porn. And who watches porn for the plot?
My friend was told me about something that happened in Connecticut… but it turns out he was thinking of Canada.
[leans over, whispers to back of hand]
…speaking of durst….
[notices no one is there, takes off shoe, removes sock, unzips pants...]
*hits Crappy in the back of the head with a tumbleweed*
Whadya say? For old time’s sake?
If you cross swords through a tumbleweed it still isn’t gay, right?
Its extra gay, Crap. Jeez
The mystery of Pittsburgh is why anyone lives there.
Wait a minute…Pittsburgh is in Transylvania, right?
Even more reasons not to live there then. Werewolves & gypsies.
I’ll bet Pittsburgh has more gypsies & werewolves per square foot than any other north eastern city, and that’s quite a badge of honor.
But Connecticut, now that there’s hunchback country. My great grandfather used to have a farm outside of Hartford where he raised Genuine Connecticut Hunchbacks.
He would harvest the humps and sell them to Canada. And that’s how they make back bacon.
**gags**