03.25.09 THREE STOOGES HAS WEIRDEST CAST EVER
I don’t break news myself that often, so when I do, I feel like I should make a big deal out of it. So hey, remember when I said Sean Penn might play Larry in the Farrelly Bros Three Stooges remake? Well… I was right!!!! I was right I was right I was right– Ow, son of a bitch, I stubbed my toe on my Todja So trophy.
Anyway, Variety confirms that Penn will play Larry, Benicio del Toro is in talks to play Moe, and Jim Carrey planning to gain 40 pounds for Curly in the modern “update” of the classic comedy troupe from the directors whose next project is literally called Walter the Farting Dog and stars the Jonas Bros. And now this cast. Here’s how I envision a Stooges movie starring these three going down:
PENN: (voice cracking) I dunno, man, I just… (unintelligible) …I just think, maybe I shouldn’ta killed her. …God forgive me for da things I done.
DEL TORO: (long, thoughtful drag on cigarette) Listen, my frien’. (points with cigarette) You. You did whatchahadda do. That’s it. (flicks cigarette away, blows out smoke)
CARREY: (talking out of his ass) But gee, Larry! Maybe you shouldn’t have tortured her so much first! Maybe you could have just… ASSed her what the problem was. (does backflip)
*Moe shoots Curly in the face*
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There are 67 comments about:
THREE STOOGES HAS WEIRDEST CAST EVER
Whyyyyyyy you commie homo sons of guns, I oughtta…
So there’s two Moes in the remake?
[reads post, tries hard to process]
Ok, well, this… er, ahh… ah…ack!
[drops to floor foaming from mouth]
Sean Penn should play ‘mo. He’s good at that.
I can feel my grandfather’s childhood being raped.
Ace Ventura, Che Guevara, and Spicoli?
Relax Crap. Go back to thinking peaceful thoughts.
Repeat the following mantra . . .
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack
Totally should call a movie with this cast The Three Hobonutsacks. So appropriate.
Have any of these guys ever made a good comedy?
H to the O to the B tot he O to the N to the U to the T to the S to the A to the C to the K
Maybe the reason there are two Moes and one of them has to be 40 pounds heavier than the other is that Del Toro will be playing Moe when he was young and thin and Puerto Rican, and Jim Carrey will be playing Moe in his later years when he grew to be old and fat and Canadian.
Fuck this shit! I’m gonna go beat a migrant farm worker with a $2 burrito!
Hobosnutsack, for lack of a better word, is good.
Me was getting me braids retied Donk. Why you gotta step on da dick, boyeeeeee? WORD ‘EM UP!
sean penn was in “casualties of war”
that was a comedy….right?
The real joke here is that we’re supposed to think they’re making this a movie, right? They’re really not…right? Guys?
This is like casting Abbot and Costello with Ian Mckellan and Dennis Frans.
Oh almost forgot…hobonutsack.
2Gays and a Che!
Slapfest
May or may not be the trailer.
Two Pinkos and a Comedy Stinko.
Frankie Four Fingers has a power disadvantage in the slapping/eye poking departments.
I can see what they were trying to do… I find Sean Penn to be the funniest motherfucker on Erff! He’s always making with the funny and the wisecracks… and I’ve never seen a stick he has left un-slapped.
Just not jew-y enough.
Is Penn going to grow out his Jew-fro?
I’ve seen better casts crawl out from underneath a Hobonutsack.
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