I don’t break news myself that often, so when I do, I feel like I should make a big deal out of it. So hey, remember when I said Sean Penn might play Larry in the Farrelly Bros Three Stooges remake? Well… I was right!!!! I was right I was right I was right– Ow, son of a bitch, I stubbed my toe on my Todja So trophy.
Anyway, Variety confirms that Penn will play Larry, Benicio del Toro is in talks to play Moe, and Jim Carrey planning to gain 40 pounds for Curly in the modern “update” of the classic comedy troupe from the directors whose next project is literally called Walter the Farting Dog and stars the Jonas Bros. And now this cast. Here’s how I envision a Stooges movie starring these three going down:
PENN: (voice cracking) I dunno, man, I just… (unintelligible) …I just think, maybe I shouldn’ta killed her. …God forgive me for da things I done.
DEL TORO: (long, thoughtful drag on cigarette) Listen, my frien’. (points with cigarette) You. You did whatchahadda do. That’s it. (flicks cigarette away, blows out smoke)
CARREY: (talking out of his ass) But gee, Larry! Maybe you shouldn’t have tortured her so much first! Maybe you could have just… ASSed her what the problem was. (does backflip)
*Moe shoots Curly in the face*
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Whyyyyyyy you commie homo sons of guns, I oughtta…
So there’s two Moes in the remake?
[reads post, tries hard to process]
Ok, well, this… er, ahh… ah…ack!
[drops to floor foaming from mouth]
Sean Penn should play ‘mo. He’s good at that.
I can feel my grandfather’s childhood being raped.
Ace Ventura, Che Guevara, and Spicoli?
Relax Crap. Go back to thinking peaceful thoughts.
Repeat the following mantra . . .
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack,
Hobonutsack
Totally should call a movie with this cast The Three Hobonutsacks. So appropriate.
Have any of these guys ever made a good comedy?
H to the O to the B tot he O to the N to the U to the T to the S to the A to the C to the K
Maybe the reason there are two Moes and one of them has to be 40 pounds heavier than the other is that Del Toro will be playing Moe when he was young and thin and Puerto Rican, and Jim Carrey will be playing Moe in his later years when he grew to be old and fat and Canadian.
Fuck this shit! I’m gonna go beat a migrant farm worker with a $2 burrito!
Hobosnutsack, for lack of a better word, is good.
Me was getting me braids retied Donk. Why you gotta step on da dick, boyeeeeee? WORD ‘EM UP!
sean penn was in “casualties of war”
that was a comedy….right?
The real joke here is that we’re supposed to think they’re making this a movie, right? They’re really not…right? Guys?
This is like casting Abbot and Costello with Ian Mckellan and Dennis Frans.
Oh almost forgot…hobonutsack.
2Gays and a Che!
Slapfest
May or may not be the trailer.
Two Pinkos and a Comedy Stinko.
Frankie Four Fingers has a power disadvantage in the slapping/eye poking departments.
I can see what they were trying to do… I find Sean Penn to be the funniest motherfucker on Erff! He’s always making with the funny and the wisecracks… and I’ve never seen a stick he has left un-slapped.
Just not jew-y enough.
Is Penn going to grow out his Jew-fro?
I’ve seen better casts crawl out from underneath a Hobonutsack.
What’s sad is I’d watch that and be entertained as long as we get to see Carrey’s brains go boom.
(watches Wild Things trailer for the 5th time)
Last night I deposited three splooges into an old sock.
Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, Jim Carrey:
You gotta fuck one, marry one, and kill one. GO!
Penn: What are you saying you Numbskull?
Del Toro: I said he’ll flip yah.
Carrey: He’ll what?
Del Toro: Flip you. Flip ya for real.
Penn: Why you…!!
SmokeEmIfYouGotEm, do you happened to know a guy we called 6ways? Cause you comment just like that muddy fender.
Which one’s the mute one, again? All of them?
I hope the title of the film ends up being “There’s something about Larry”
@ Pauly
6ways?
Shawn will find it hard to be penned in by his character, Benicio will attempt to bull his way through, and Jim will try to carry the comedic element.
…fuck…Sean is a bitches name anyhow.
These were the parts that Chodin, Burnsy, and I auditioned for.
I told Chodin that the rubber fist up his ass was a bit much….
Am i the only one who assumed this was going to be a biopic on the three stooges? Now after reading that linked variety article and realizing it is going to be an hour and half stooges movie, i’m going to weigh in and say regardless of the cast its a really dumb idea to make a modern stooges movie, cause not matter how well the actors imitate the real stooges, you still will wish you were watching a real stooges movie. As pointless as doing a shot by shot remake of Psycho.
It gets worse. I have it on good authority that David Caruso will be returning to the big screen as Shemp.
I hope Jim Carrey does gain 40 pounds. And that it be 40 pounds of lead.
From bullets.
Because I want to shoot him.
I agree with giantcow, and not just because he/she has a hockey pic.
(OK fine, that IS why.)
A Milkman
A Wolfman
A Dumbman
Its perfect.
In America Al, they are called hockey pucks.
(Caught one at the game last Fri Night btk)
That banner pic is a photographic recipe for caramel.
Apparently Penn “hasn’t done a comedy since the 1989 laffer We’re No Angels.” Ah the “1989 laffer We’re No Angels”, probably the most quoted movie of all time. Why, you can go any forum on this here internet – any forum – and i fucking guarantee you someone will throw in a direct quote or a sly reference to the “1989 laffer We’re No Angels”. Only yesterday i was reading about the fifty greatest Leeds United players and Disco Dave from Batley said, “Jimmy Floyd Hasselbank should be higher than no. 29″
And it was at that point in his career he went from Carrey to Carrion.
Thanks Al!
“any forum on this here internet – any forum – and i fucking guarantee you someone will throw in a direct quote..”
Bullshit CB, I just looked and there’s
Nothing. There’s nothing there. It’s all in your head.
Crappy – in CANADA (cheers Burnsy, you motherfucker), everyone has caught a pic, or as you like to call them, a “puck”, at a game. With our teeth. But I’m pleased you got to see a game live – I’ll be at the LA game on the 9th :)
Hey Martini: You need to tell Tyler to stop stepping on your shit. I can’t tell some days if I’m here or… over there.
Interesting. So that’s why when I once hollered at Gordie Howe to let me get a pic he hit me with a slapshot.
Bryce: You shut your mouth when you talk to Vince.
It’s OK Pauly, I’m talking out of the side of my ass :-P
Just defending our turf.
We already had a great biopic of the Stooges they did on ABC. And I’m being serious…it was really well done. And wasn’t Chiklis Curly? Yep…he was.
The Three Stooges meet The Wolfman. Later they play basketball against the Harlem Globetrotters.
On an article about an attack on Sir Fred Goodwin’s home, Geoff from Portsmouth says, “the pain and misery caused by this man, and then to be substantially rewarded for his incompetence, is unbelievable. I hope he’s hounded for the rest of his life.” You see, goDoo, you see?
BTK, not that anyone cares, but there’s something extremely sexy about del Toro.
Just sayin’.
I’m not going to lie at first I thought everyone was miscast, but I’m finally starting to see the movie now. After an hour of autoerotic asphyxiation any 3 guys look like the Three Stooges.
@CB,
So maybe I was getting popcorn during that scene.
Al, agreed. Remember when Pauly wanted to play the marry, fuck, kill game with these guys? I was gonna post a comment but have been daydreaming about doing one of those things with Benicio. Got totally sidetracked.
Chino, I wouldn’t have a problem sharing with you. He’s just that kinda guy.
I heard Benicio’s spunk tastes like an ashtray filled with Tapatio.
I wish I knew what Tapatio was and I’m too lazy to look it up. In any case, that’s Chino’s concern, she’s the one doing the swallowing.
Tapatio? Es la salsa muy salsa.
I lick ashtrays and wash it down with Tapatio so it’s cool.
Vance, next time I have to correspond with you personally, I’m SO doing it in French.
Awesome news up.
Sean Penn & Jim Carrey: Marry then Kill. Receive lots of money.
Benicio: Fuck on a big pile of money.
Like that, Pauly?